6 Ways to Effectively Communicate Within Your Marriage
1. Season Your Words With Wisdom
“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.”
Handling your spouse’s heart with Godly care and wisdom will always prove to be fruitful over wanting “to be right”. The Bible states that “Wisdom is the principal thing”, therefore, as you seek wisdom and God’s direction – throughout your marriage – you’re choosing to prioritize God’s Word and instruction over how you may “feel” in the moment. Abruptly speaking out of “your flesh” (your emotions), ultimately harms your spouse and plucks down the integrity of your marriage. When you seek out Wisdom before responding to your spouse, you’re deliberately choosing to engage God, thereby accessing Grace to handle the heart of your spouse and the heart of the matter God’s Way. When you choose to engage God to lead your heart and to guide your conversation before releasing a response you’ll get His Results. By engaging God with every aspect of your spouse, seasoning your words with wisdom and handling their heart with care, you’ll gain Godly insight and revelation as it relates to the matter and in understanding your spouse before recklessly responding in haste and out of your emotions.
2. Submit one to another
Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).”
Submit means to “subject yourself to” or “to serve”. When you choose to serve your spouse, out of the reverent fear of The Lord, you’ll be mindful to choose words that will both, edify and build them up, instead of tearing down their heart with your words. When speaking with your spouse, it is your choice to either, respond out of Love, (submitting to God) or yield to your flesh by responding out of your emotions. Responding with grace and seasoning your words with wisdom, patience, and love, in times of tension and pressure, builds character and establishes the maturity of your marriage – ultimately reflecting the Heart of God. Together, it’s important to ask yourselves, are you building each other up together or are you killing one another and even your marriage with your words.
3. Borders of Safety
“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”
As you trust God with the handling of your heart and your marriage, God will consistently pour out and reveal Himself to you both as you both are led and guided by His Word. As you begin to confess your faults to your spouse, it establishes an environment of intimacy, maturity, and transparency where you both can learn and grow together, trusting each another with the most intimate parts of your life. As you both submit to God, you’re casting down pride within the walls of your marriage and opening your hearts to Him. It is in these intimate moments between you, God and your spouse where God is able to release healing and reveal more about Himself to you both. As you submit your heart and marriage to God, you build a relationship that will consistently build trust in the handling of your heart, life, and family. As any good Father, God leads and handles His children with care. The emotional and spiritual safety of your home is established, secured and developed in how you handle the hearts of your spouse.
4. Practice Exhorting
“But exhort one another daily, while it is called Today; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.”
Exhortation is the environment that produces healthy, productive and fruitful communication. As you exhort, (the strategic imparting and deliberate building up of your spouse through and with the Word of God), you’re able to spring up life within your marriage and the borders of your home. Exhortation is saying what God says about your spouse. It is the outpouring from the Heart of God and speaking directly into the life of your spouse, reflecting The Heart of God within the borders of your marriage.
What are you speaking in the environment of your home? What are you saying about your spouse? What has God said about your spouse? What is God currently saying about your spouse? When you say what God is saying about your spouse your heart and mouth are intentionally being aligned to speak and release into the life of your spouse. If you’re not receiving revelation concerning your spouse and unable to pour out, there may be a blockage caused by a previous offense…a condition of heart hardening. To remove the blockage from a previous offense, simply forgive. Ask God to give you the strength to forgive the past and to move forward freely into His future.
5. Forgive Consistently
“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
Forgiving your spouse will produce an environment of peace within your home. Maybe the tension or the emotional friction you’re experiencing within the borders of your home is produced by and from the seeds of past or current transgression(s) that you’re clinging on to. As you let go of the past and embrace God’s future, you’ll relinquish the pain and enslavement of the past and propel into His plans for you both. Embracing God and refusing to respond out of your flesh is a maturity process. Your flesh wants to hold on to the past when God wants you to let go and move forward, embracing His future. It’s your decision to either submit to His Word or stay enslaved to the pain of the past.
6. Peace Production
“He maketh peace in thy borders, and filleth thee with the finest of the wheat.”
God relinquishes peace to those who ask. God is peace. Engage God consistently within the borders of your home and He’ll continually fill your heart and home with His peace. Practice producing peace by filling your words with His Word. The Word that God releases is Life and has the power to build up the emotional and spiritual integrity of your home. Watch your words with diligence and with care. Watch your thoughts and fill your house with peace. His Peace.
Mediation Scripture: “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.”