I don’t know about you, but marriage is something that is important to me. My wife and I have gone through many struggles, highs and lows over the years. We’ve seen both the good and the bad. If you’re not married, it’s possible that your only thoughts about being married have been focused on the bliss of having that special someone to share your life. That is a great feeling. I know many women and hear many conversations between them about what they believe it would be like to be married. Many speak of it in terms of being the dream life, as if once they get married, all will be right with the world.
I don’t recall ever hearing this kind of conversation from men when the subject of marriage comes up. Often, if there is any conversation from a guy about marriage, it takes on more of a feel like a life plan or goal; how marriage fits into his life or something along that line. He may wonder how the marriage can work within the context of the life he has already created and established for himself. While a woman may be dealing with the notion of an “internal clock” counting down for her, he is only faced with the ribbing of those who tell him that he needs to settle down.
Your Marriage’s Purpose
The question that often comes to mind when people are considering their thoughts on marriage is, “Have you considered finding your marriage’s purpose?” I find it interesting that there are many books about finding your life’s purpose. Yet, who is asking what purpose your marriage would serve if you were to be married? Have you considered this question?
This isn’t just about having goals, but it is also about having direction. When we read the Bible, it reminds that it is difficult for two to walk together, except they be in agreement (see Amos 3:3). Paul even brings up the point of the difficulty of a couple that is unequally yoked together in marriage.
Having a marriage purpose or defining the purpose for your marriage will go a long way in solidifying things for you. One way is that you give yourself a pretext for why it is that you want to be married. Dr. Myles Munroe often said, “If you don’t know the purpose of a thing, abuse is inevitable.” I think this applies to marriages as well. If you have a marriage and you don’t know the purpose for your marriage, when things become challenged, it potentially becomes more convenient or easier to walk away from it. If you don’t know your purpose for being married, your expectations become jaded when you don’t see your marriage produce the results or reflect what you’ve envisioned it as being.
Another thing that a marriage purpose does is it causes you and the person you hope to marry examine your lives as individuals. You are able to see how your gifts, talents, skills, and experience can come together to guide you in the way you want to go.
Unity In Christ
If you are a Christian, part of that marriage purpose should have some sort of connection to reflecting the unity and oneness that can be found in God. Paul said that husbands are to love their wives in the same fashion that Christ loved the Church (see Ephesians 5:25).
When God commanded Adam and Eve to be fruitful, multiply, subdue, and have dominion, He gave them the freedom to determine what that would look like. In marriage, we all have the unique opportunity to determine what that will look like also. When you see fruitful and multiply, how do you picture that? Does it include having children? How? Naturally, through foster parenting, adoption, or through mentoring? Could it be in building a philanthropic company?
As you become more aware of what you believe your marriage purpose should be, it will also give you a great marker for what you’re looking for in a spouse and help to minimize time wasted dating or courting the wrong person. It’s my hope that if you are looking to be married, that you’ll find your marriage’s purpose. If you’re already married and haven’t before considered the purpose of your marriage, this can be a time when you can do that.
God desires your marriage to have purpose in the same way that He has given you your own personal purpose for being. Seek your purpose in marriage and see how you can bring glory to God in and through the marriage He has for you.