Here’s My Heart
“Here’s my heart Jesus.” Those words seem easy to utter until we understand the commitment they demand. Purposefully giving away what we try to protect most is a gut-wrenching choice. It requires us to relinquish the identities we give ourselves and the lies we cling to when the road gets tough. We no longer try to protect ourselves, but our hiding place becomes the arms of Jesus (see Psalm 119: 114).
Jesus said that the kingdom of Heaven is like a mustard seed. At first, it is the smallest of the seeds, but once it grows, it becomes a refuge for the birds of the air (see Matthew 13: 31-32). All kinds of fowl come to rest on its branches, and no objection is made. Nestling in its shade, the heat of the sun cannot tire them.
Thus, the words “here’s my heart” signify that we choose to take comfort in Jesus, as His branches cover us from life’s disappointments, hurt, and fiery arrows. His word calls all who are weary to come and “discover for themselves that the LORD is kind. Come to Him for protection, and they will be glad.” (Psalm 34:8)
The key is to discover Jesus for ourselves. Who is He to us? Do we know who we are to Him?
Insecurity is defined in the Cambridge Advanced Learner’s Dictionary & Thesaurus as a “feeling of lacking confidence and not being sure of your own abilities or of whether people like you.” At times, the root issue is not if we think people like us, but whether we are confident of the Lord’s love even when we fail and reject Him.
As we age, the flesh teaches us to hide our sin and reject reality. We create and believe illusions. Running away from the truth becomes second nature, as we strive to be war-like, fierce, and independent.
Are we willing to allow the Lord to break us?
Stop Running; Rest in His Heart
Let’s look at Peter.
After rejecting Jesus three times, He went out of the courtyard and “wept bitterly” (Luke 22:62). The word for wept here is klaiō, and bitterly, pikrōs. Here we see that coming face to face with what was inside him, Peter realized that he was deceived by his own insecurity, causing him immense pain and hurt. He responded by violently crying out loud.
He rejected Jesus after fervently declaring He would go all the way with Him, even unto death (see Luke 22:33). Previously, when Jesus explained the cost of following Him, Peter was the one who declared they couldn’t leave Him, He only had the words of eternal life (see John 6:68).
A Moment of Reflection
That was Peter’s breaking point. The Lord revealed to him the extent to which he believed his own lies. Peter wasn’t yet fully aware of how feeble his loyalty to Jesus was, and now he couldn’t hide from it.
Insecurity causes us to develop false truths to cope with the pain of not measuring up. So, are we awake to what is really inside us? Do we trust Jesus with our life? Even if it means rejection and pain?
Come Back to the Ark of Refuge
Consider Noah’s raven and dove. One was independent, loud, and strong, and the other gentle, quiet, and feeble. Their decisions teach us a valuable lesson. The raven went back and forth until the waters subsided from off the earth, never finding refuge in the ark (see Genesis 8:7).
The dove, not finding solace in the branches of any tree, returned to the ark, specifically to Noah (see Genesis 8: 8-9). Upon her return, Noah extended his hand and took her, pulling her to himself. Because of this, the dove knew she could trust him, and when tasked to search for signs of life, she brought him an olive leaf (see Genesis 8:11).
At times, we only learn the beauty of who Jesus is until we forfeit His love or reject Him, losing Him in the chaos of life. Like the raven, we don’t know that Noah has His hand extended waiting for our return. Chasing the lies of our insecurities, we guard our hearts, keeping Jesus at a distance.
Like Noah, the Master bids us to “return and taste and see that the He (the Lord) is good (see Psalm 34:8) as we sing: “Here’s my heart, Jesus.”