How honesty will fix your life.
What does it mean to be honest?
Some people think that honesty looks like the simple, “don’t tell a flat out lie”, or, “don’t cheat or do anything that would betray the trust of the person you love” – But I think honesty goes much deeper than that.
Look at it this way:
Many moons ago, you were born and thrust into a brand new world. Your heart was confused and in need, so it cried. And at first, the cry is effective. You cried and people paid attention to you, got to know your cues and supplemented you with whatever you needed.
Unfortunately, one day you experienced a need and it went unmet. The cry used to work, but it doesn’t seem to anymore and you are now unable to express what you need, and a wound begins to occur as a result. Whether it’s because of negligence or the inability of the people around you to know how to take care of you, you began believing the lie that people are no longer trustworthy.
And because you have resolved to believe that people are no longer trustworthy, your heart, your need, and your wound now need a new consultant.
That consultant’s name is fear. Fear teaches you how to hide. Fear teaches you how to lie. Fear teaches you that people will not understand you or may even embarrass you for having a need. But what fear cannot do is heal you.
When we consult fear on how to handle our wounds, it will never tell us the truth – it doesn’t know how. Our wounds will not get the care they need, and when we let this go on for much longer we reach a place of such darkness and control that we cannot see a way out. At least, not on our own.
The key to freedom
There is not one thing that is too far gone for love. Love finds a way. Love softens the blow of the wall that begins to crumble when we turn to truth.
Honesty is the pathway to love. We cannot let love into a place that we are keeping in the darkness. Love is sitting and waiting outside your wall, but you will never attain the transformational and healing power that you so need until you pull out the key of honesty and open up.
What honesty looks like:
What I have learned, is that honesty looks like paying close attention to the happenings of my inside world. When a thought comes around that has fear attached to it, instead of pushing it out and trying to explain it away, I take compassion on myself and say “Oh, Gracie, why are you afraid?”.
And let me tell you, I always have an answer to that question.
The thing is – you cannot explain away fear. There is a reason why it’s there, whether it’s a need, a wound, etc., and it will not go away until you give it the attention it needs. Fear is trying to protect you from something, but God is trying to deliver you from that very same thing.
You are a slave to what you fear. If you continue to try and convince yourself that the fear you experience when you think about telling someone that you’re upset, angry, confused, bothered, or even that you love them, is helpful, you will never get to the place of honesty that your heart is reaching out for.
Your heart wants to be free
Your heart wants to be free, and the key to that freedom is honesty. First to yourself, then to God, and then, many times, to others.
But there are also borderlines to honesty. Let me explain.
Just because you open your mouth and start spewing your inner thoughts, fears, desires, etc., doesn’t mean that you are engaging in true honesty.
Sometimes, if you don’t know how to be honest yet, this is the best you can do – and that’s ok. But that’s not the place where we want to land in this journey.
This is where we want to land:
When we become afraid and feel a tightening in our chest, we take a look at the fear and ask what it’s trying to protect. We extend compassion to the part of our heart that has felt the need to recruit fear as it’s protection. We separate ourselves from the emotion and sit down in the seat of true perspective.
We all have the incredible ability to shape our lives and direct the inner pathways in our mind and heart.
The seat of true perspective is the knowledge that you are seated in a heavenly place. A place where your soul is safe. A place where you have the space to discover your own self. It’s the place of grander perspective that is able to show you that your freedom is worth the price of the pain or fear of opening up.
Take the seat of true perspective in your own life and begin to watch your inner self come to peace knowing that nothing is too much or too scary to look at, because at the end of the day, all our heart wants is to be seen.
We want to be heard. And no matter how hard we try, our hearts will not find peace until we pull out our key of honesty and open the door to freedom.