Mornings are always tough for my little family. I try to wake up before the kids so I can make coffee, (try) and spend time with God, prioritize the day’s needs, etc. But it doesn’t always work out. And even when I do get up before them I often still find myself rushing around, blood pressure rising, and voice raising to get it all done before school or whatever plans we have for the day. At these moments, I am trying to train my mind to go back to Proverbs 31 and personify the wife/mother described in that passage:
“She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come. She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue. She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: ‘Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.'”
I want to be strong in my beliefs and instead of cowering in fear, I want to laugh at the days to come. I want to find it hilarious that I would even attempt to be afraid because I know God is with me and for me. I want to speak with wisdom and instead of barking orders, I want faithful instruction to roll off my tongue. I want to watch over my house with care and I want my children to recognize how blessed I am as their mother. I want my husband to see how noble I am.
This article from The Better Mom blog outlines lessons from Proverbs 31 that can help us be better moms:
5 Things We Can Learn From Proverbs 31 To Help Us Be a Better Mother
Diligence is an art and a skill. It is to work carefully, without giving up or backing down. Someone with a great work ethic is extremely diligent. When we are diligent mothers we are working carefully and persistently with our kids. We are gentle, compassionate, and we don’t give up on them. We work alongside them.
Having a compassionate heart means to step outside of yourself and offer love and empathy to others. I remember one time I was explaining to a friend how tough my (then) 2-year-old was in public places. He would run from me, throw tantrums, and make a scene. It was mortifying. But she told me that one day he would grow out of that and it would show me how to be compassionate when I see other moms going through the same thing. She was right. I love sharing a kind word with a frazzled mom in public. “Been there, done that, this too shall pass.”
We can use compassion and empathy with our kids as well. Instead of raising our voices and getting frustrated at their never ending tantrum, we can try and understand their big emotions and offer a hug and a shoulder to cry on.
3. Servant’s Heart
“Having a mother with a loving, servant’s heart is a valuable gift for a child and it’s something we should start growing and learning now.” (Source)
I don’t think I knew true servanthood until I became a wife and then a mom. Someone with a servant’s heart serves willingly, generously, and joyfully. I don’t have a hard time with the serving part. That’s pretty much all I do. I clean, go to the grocery store, cook, bathe kids, help them in the bathroom, buy them clothes and toys, take them to and from school and sports, etc. I am for sure serving them. It’s the attitude I struggle with. Someone with a true servant’s heart loves to give to and serve others joyfully – without asking for anything in return.
“She opens her mouth with wisdom”. The only way to be woman who speaks of wisdom is to grow in knowledge and faith in Jesus Christ. You can’t speak God’s wise words if you don’t know His Word. It doesn’t have to be hours of study on end because we all know a full-time mom does not have time for that kind of Bible study. But just taking small moments to fill up your cup will also fill you with wisdom.
“The teaching of kindness is on her tongue.” In theory, this should come easily, right? I mean our children are our most prized possessions. They are those little miracles we hold so close to our hearts that we would do anything for and love them more than words. So of course we are kind to them. But always? Well, we are human after all. It is impossible to stay patient and calm with everyone at all times. Especially on long days when you are stuck inside with your kids ALL DAY. But, if we want to teach our kids kindness, we need to show them kindness.
As I mentioned, mornings are tough. And this morning being a Monday, it was hard to get back into the routine of homeschool due to COVID-19 and wrangling everyone to get dressed and ready. My words were short as I was commanding everyone to listen to me and get moving…OR ELSE!!! My sweet, precious 3-year-old who is really the most kindhearted, gentle human ever said, “Mommy why are you so mad at me?” He was reading my tone and he most definitely did not detect kindness. It is always so humbling when you hear a comment like that to show you how your words and actions are perceived. But, I was able to practice my compassionate mom skills and scoop that boy up, apologize for my tone, and cover him with kisses.
Remember, we aren’t perfect, and we make mistakes. But grace gives us the chance to start over and try again, every second of every day. You can always re-read Proverbs 31 over and over and over again.
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