I am a 33 year old mom. I have been to college, got married, had first jobs, run races, been to graduate school, and currently I “stay-home” to raise my three boys. Being a mom is not my only role, but right now it is what consumes 99% of my time. I have accomplished so much so far, I am the busiest I have ever been, my life is so full. Yet, why do I still wonder who I am at times? What is my identity?
It’s tricky. The world tells us we should be a certain way, look a certain way, act a certain way, talk a certain way. We should do it all perfectly, mistake-free. If not, we are a failure. If not, we aren’t worthy of love and attention.
Look at social media. You want to get noticed? Be perfect, be beautiful, be hilarious. Keep trying to make yourself someone you are not. Use that filter, get that perfect lighting, take a million pictures (while in the background yelling, and stressing until each kid is smiling and looking at the camera – guilty!), post pictures of that clean room in your house, while the rest are covered in toys, dog hair, and laundry. There, you did it – perfection. Now you’ll be loved and accepted by the world. But, the thing is, as Christians we are not of this world. We are not called to conform to this world. Stop wasting your time and energy on things that don’t matter!
I’m still learning about finding my true identity in Christ.
My worth is not measured in how pretty, or tall, or thin, or funny, PERFECT, or successful I am. My worth is not measured in how big my house is, how many cars I have, or how well-behaved my kids are, or how many Pinterest-worthy Halloween costumes I have sewn (zero, by the way, thank you very much). My worth is not measured in how good of a mom others (or even myself) think I am. Thank God. Because if it was… I would never, ever measure up. I would just keep failing, and failing, and failing. I’d keep chasing an unattainable goal like a puppy on his tail.
That last one has been the hardest in this journey of identity. In every job we have we are given a review, an end-of-year check-in with our boss. Where are your strengths? What are you doing well? Where are your weaknesses? What do you need to work on? But, in parenthood? It often feels like our feedback is only from a pint-sized, screaming, whirling dervish of a three-year-old saying, “I hate you, Mommy!” because you gave him a blue cup instead of a red one at lunch. Not very affirming, or uplifting. Not exactly the pat on the back you were looking for.
Most days I can feel the joy around me. I can feel how blessed I am. How God chose me to guide these precious lives on Earth. He chose me and ONLY ME to be the mother of these three boys. The Lord of the Universe picked me, so that means I am qualified to do it. I am enough. Even though I have voices telling me I will never be good enough and I will never measure up – like that 3 year old, or the lies of Satan, or social media, or my own voice inside – none of those voices and opinions matter. The only voice that matters is the God of Creation, the One who calls me His, the One who chose me for this very important job.
Maybe you aren’t a parent, but maybe you struggle with really owning your identity in Christ. You struggle with believing His voice, and instead search everywhere else for validation. Stop. You are the daughter or son of the King, you are royalty, you are ENOUGH, and you matter. Challenge those voices and lies that are telling you otherwise, and I promise you will find God’s truth in your life louder and more powerful than ever.
I am who You say I am.