It seems the attack on my identity began the moment I was born. My parents decided their family was complete after the birth of my sister in 1952. My mother had her tubes tied, folded over, and burned at the ends. No more babies! That was the foolproof plan.
Yet in 1957, the impossible happened, and I was born. The doctors checked to see what went wrong in their procedure and found nothing. His statement to my mother was, “Lady, I can’t help it if God wants you to have another baby.”
Born into rejection
Dad called me his miracle baby, but Mom received me with a different spirit. If God was going to force her to have another child, He better make it good! I can only imagine her disappointment when she had me.
I was nothing special. I wasn’t pretty, I was sickly, had vision problems, and I wasn’t very smart. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t do anything right. This was the first set of lies the enemy instilled in my brain, and I fully believed him.
I proceeded into life with an orphan spirit, believing I was of little value, and the enemy used circumstance after circumstance to validate those feelings.
I grew up in a Christian home, but my parents were legalistic in their beliefs, especially my mother. Not fully understanding their own identity in Christ, they couldn’t teach me mine.
I made my share of mistakes due to my low self-image; entered into a marriage with someone that I didn’t love, had five children that I failed to love unconditionally, divorced, and had other dysfunctional relationships.
My true identity
Gradually, as God got my attention, He began to show me who I really am. He taught me that He knew me even before He formed me in the womb (see Jeremiah 1:5). I am made in His image (see Genesis 1:27). I am a child of God! (see 1 John 3:1-2).
His desire is to prosper me, not harm me (Jeremiah 29:11). I am loved by my Creator in spite of my mistakes (Romans 5:8). I don’t need to be afraid because God stays with me and never leaves me (see Deuteronomy 31:6).
I now know that I am loved, valued, and wanted (Jeremiah 31:3). The more I discover my worth, the more I am able to submit to Kingdom thinking and walk in a higher place. Because of that, I am able to love others as I have never been able to before.
Don’t listen to the lies of the enemy! His goal is to destroy God’s precious creation. That’s right, I’m talking about you! You are loved, you are valued, you are special, you are God’s child, you are beautiful and amazing!
