“In the dark of the midnight have I oft hid my face while the storm howls above me and there’s no hiding place. Mid the crash of the thunder precious Lord hear my cry keep me safe till the storm passes by.” – Gaither Vocal Band
Recently, I faced a life changing event that sent me spiraling into a very dark world which seemed more like a fearsome jungle. Depression came in with a blinding fear that left me paralyzed with emptiness, hopelessness and a feeling of worthlessness. Ultimately that became the ruler of my heart, and it felt like my identity was lost completely.
Facing The Storm
While I was experiencing depression, my perception took a beating and I learned very quickly that my faith and trust in God were lacking in every sense of the word. It’s simple to have faith and trust but more times than not we complicate it by making the simplicity of it all complex. When you are experiencing the dark of the midnight it’s extremely hard to believe in something you can’t see. Therefore, believing that God was with me and would see me through was difficult.
Everything around me felt like death. When I could not pray only my tears spoke. Yes, I was scared and felt all alone and darkness was working it’s evil under the cloak of the night. In times like these, when we are most vulnerable, there is a dimension of powers that come to attack. The Bible is clear when God tells us that Satan comes to kill, steal and destroy. His plan was to thwart my trust in God and to counteract my so-called faith. The devil doesn’t stop until he has you where he controls you and for over two years I was his pawn and chained securely in his deep, dark pit.
The Light Pierced Through
While the storms raged above and the turbulent winds blew vehemently against my soul, my fragility took me deeper into the darkness where thoughts of suicide begin to edge its way into my mind with a convincing story of how easy it would be to end the madness. Satan’s plan was to call check-mate as loudly as he could in my face and laugh me all the way to hell but in the midst of my night terrors under the enemy’s dark cloak, I felt the light of God’s love piercing through.
Even during creation, the light and darkness had to be separated. It took an act of God to do it then and it still takes God to deliver us from darkness and ourselves. John 1:5 “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” I had written a song several years ago and a line comes to mind, “…let the light be a light shining out from the darkness through my soul from His likeness.” We have the gift of light not only for ourselves but for others who trip and stumble in the night.
The Power of Light
It’s amazing what light can do in that place of total darkness where we feel those shadows gathering and we long for that nudge of dawn to bring light and bring into view a full vision of our surroundings. Jesus is that light! When we invite Him in, everything under that dark cloak will vanish and you will experience defining moments of grace being extended to you and the light of God’s mercy and love will be a definitive sign of His holy truth.
Along our journey, we will face struggles and the passage will be dark and haunting but with Jesus as our light, fears will diminish and a new destination will arise. Let the light be a light!