Life is definitely NOT always unicorns, and rainbows, and gourmet truffles. Sometimes life is just a cesspool of pain, and injustice, and heartbreak. In those times our heart wrenches with the thought, “WHERE IS GOD?”
He’s right there. In the pain and the injustice and heartbreak, He is standing nearby. The problem is we can NOT always see Him there. This will completely and utterly come down to trust. Either we believe God is who He says He is – good Father, Father to the fatherless, defender of the widow, shelter from the storm – or, He is not.
And He IS who He says He is.
Just stop and do nothing. Take a minute and just be present in your storm, in your mud hole, in your dungeon. Just take one minute to let Jesus show up.
He comes to the deepest reservoir of your broken soul – He comes to those who cry out to Him. He would NEVER walk by someone who is desperately reaching out to His hand. We just are so consumed by our pain that we don’t see Him. Or we expect Him to show up in the way we think we need or want. All I know for sure, is He WILL show up.
I have had multiple life experiences that were soul crushing, destructive, and the goal from the dark side was definitely to take me out. If we are gone, we have no voice – no story – nothing to share with others to stop THEIR pain. I always say that the “don’t give up” part of me, is just in my DNA. I don’t claim an ounce of credit for this. It is something in me that just will not let me “check out” or give up. Oh, I want to sometimes – I entertain the dark thought of “I’m done! I can’t do this anymore.”
And then. Jesus.
He just shows up. I scream out His name from the deepest darkest suffocating corner of my heart – JESUS! And, I just know He is there.
Nothing changes right away; the storm rages on; the pain is still crippling; the injustice is still mocking my name; the heartbreak is still overwhelming. BUT just that fast when He shows up inside of me, I feel something I can hardly explain. I feel peace. Peace IN the storm; peace IN the pain; peace IN the injustice; peace IN the heartbreak. This peace sustains my weary soul, holds my heart together, silences my fears, shuts the mouth of the accusing voices, and I can rest – literally – I rest in WHO JESUS IS.
I have learned this the hard way. Let me explain.
I went through a very dark time. I knew what to do – I knew to pray and read the Word, and let others minister to me. I just couldn’t. I just disappeared into my darkness. I allowed myself to listen to the lies and I agreed with them. I allowed myself to entertain the enemy of my soul. He lies with truth (what?). Yes. He takes things that are true, and uses them against you. “You failed. THIS is true. So he shows up and reminds you that you indeed failed. THEN he goes further with the LIES of – you are worthless/you screwed it all up/you don’t deserve to even be alive. So, yes in essence – it is truth told in lies. Jesus would never mock you or condemn you or lie to you. Ever.
Satan is called THE FATHER OF LIES. Remember that. His only goal is to destroy you through his lies. He is NOT a good, good father!
When you find yourself in the dark night of the soul, and the voices are screaming and the darkness is suffocating – cry out to Jesus. And then, trust that He has heard you; trust that no matter what lies you have heard or even believed, that HE is on your side.
The truth is THIS…
…you are loved, you are valued; you are NOT hopeless; you are NOT a failure; you are NOT unredeemable; you are NOT unfixable; your family is NOT unfixable. NOTHING is impossible in the loving hands of the God who loves you relentlessly.
When I “got nothin”- I know I got God. And that is enough – with or without visible answers or changes.
“That day when evening came, He said to His disciples, “Let us go over to the other side.” Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as He was, in the boat. There were also other boats with Him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke Him and said to Him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?” He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Peace! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to His disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?” They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!” (Mark 4:35-41)
I am safe in His arms. I will stay in the boat. And there I will rest until He speaks to the storm – “Peace. Be still.”