What I’ve Learned So Far in My Marriage That Can Change Yours
Love is alive!
What I’ve Learned So Far In Marriage
- Marriage is a refining fire to help us become more like Christ. In marriage, you learn humility, sacrifice, grace, mercy, unconditional love, and servitude – more so than in any other relationship or job. If you are seeking happiness, marriage is not your destination. How amazing is it that the relationship we have with our spouse is one of the greatest tools God uses to mold us.
- Never blame your spouse for lack of fulfillment; blame yourself for not pursuing a fulfilling relationship with God. When we are fulfilled in Christ, we allow God’s primary purpose for marriage to come full circle – that of modeling Christ’s love for His church through the development of Christian character.
- I love Emerson Eggerich’s take on marriage. Ephesians 5:33 gives us clear instructions for marriage. “Every husband must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” I am commanded to respect my husband because he needs respect. Respect is the language he understands. When I speak to him in disrespectful ways, his tendency is to react with unloving words. On the other side, he is commanded to love me because I need love. Love is the language I understand. When he speaks to me in unloving ways, my tendency is to react with disrespectful words. Arguments go in circles because what is said is the exact opposite of what is needed. He desperately desires respect from the one person that he cares for the most. Just like I desperately desire love from the man I care for the most. When we have a disagreement, we now ask where we went wrong before things escalate. He recognizes my feelings, asks where I felt unloved, and fixes it. I ask where he felt disrespected and I resolve it. This concept has completely changed our marriage.
- Pray to love your spouse like Jesus does. Every day. I’m serious! Every single morning make this your prayer. Whenever the Bible speaks of love, it never measures it by how much you want to receive. It measures it by how much you’re willing to give yourself to someone else. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 so beautifully states what love is. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” Notice how every line in this scripture involves giving of yourself while letting go of selfish human nature. What would happen if we intentionally lived out every one of these definitions in our marriage? Selflessness isn’t a marriage strategy, but rather a heart transformation in Christ. Pure love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return.
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