Join the panel, Marj Rossol, Chris Larkin, Alison Wilson and Sue Eldridge for another great episode as they discuss the challenges of marriage! Peppered with humor and realness, the ladies share their personal journeys as married women.
Chris opens up about the challenge she faced with her husband of decades, “The things that have challenged us the most are communication issues. Language can lead to misunderstanding.”
We can all relate to the times when what we’re trying to communicate isn’t being understood. Marj relates the struggle she had with her first marriage which ended after she became as Christian as her husband couldn’t relate to her anymore. Then, in her second marriage to a church leader, she was certain that, “Yeah, he’s a man of God, this is going to be bliss…” only to find out that actually, they had communication issues.
“We both had stuff from our past, we had to realize stuff in our past was affecting us”
Marj openly discusses the challenges of communicating with past issues affecting their relationship. “We both had stuff from our past, we had to realize stuff in our past was affecting us”. One of the ways in which she and her husband overcame this was through counseling. Her advice to anyone struggling in this area is: “Please if you can’t sort it yourself find a safe place to get help”
The ladies are real about their struggles in the marriage arena. Alison shares about her mentally and emotionally abusive marriage. “I was just mess and I married someone who also had a massive issue and we had a very mental and emotionally abusive relationship.”
“I finally realized that actually being mentally and emotionally mistreated in your home is a violation of vows…”
No marriage is perfect and often times we view other people’s marriages as being perfect especially in church settings. Alison was finally set free from her marriage when “I finally realized that actually being mentally and emotionally mistreated in your home is a violation of vows.” Her marriage ended but she continued to work on her self and an essential part of her healing was to “Get your heart right about forgiving; unconditional forgiveness is a key”.
I’ve found in my own walk with the Lord that being able to forgive has lifted burdens that were weighing me down. I could relate to what the ladies were saying about unforgiveness affecting your marriage. Chris says “Take your heart to God and see what He does and if there’s any forgiveness that you need, then work on it. Release those people from your judgments and pain and see what He does. Make it all available to Him and He will direct your paths”.
Two keys to a great marriage
Sue shares about how “I’d saved myself ya know, I felt this was going to be so perfectly and boy oh boy it was a huge shock definitely for both of us just being married…”. In many Christian circles, people do believe that once they get married it will all be perfect. The truth can be a rude awakening but again Sue reiterates “Communication is huge”. Something that she realised she was doing was to create a storyline in her head about what she thought her husband was doing or saying, so she suggests asking yourself, ” What is the story you’re making up in your head?”
For me, I loved the fact that two of the ladies had been married before. Not for any other reason than as a non-Christian I was married and divorced and then I became a Christian. The fact that Marj Rossol and Alison Wilson both remarried after divorce helped me feel better about my desire to get married again.
All too often in Church circles, the idea of a second marriage is frowned upon but everybody’s circumstances are different. If you find yourself hurting in a marriage that isn’t working, open your heart up to the Holy Spirit and allow Him to help you heal as you encounter His Presence.
Tim Eldridge, Sue’s husband joins the ladies to talk about the ministry he and Sue started, Presence Ministries International. And their upcoming Conference European Leaders Advance ‘Heaven Invades Europe’ on 24-26 July, 2018. Tim explains that “People are looking for something authentic and real and an encounter.” The conference is open to anyone and it’s a good opportunity to be spiritually refreshed.
Don’t miss Let’s Get Real on GOD TV on Mondays at 9.30pm with replays on air on Tuesday at 2 pm, Wednesday at 10 am and Fridays at 3 pm. Or watch the the episode above.
This article was written by UK author and speaker, Deborah Armin who is a graduate of the London School of Theology. Her book On My Way Home: One Woman’s Journey in Search of the Unknown God, is published by Authentic Media. Deborah is also a staff writer for GODTV.com.