The ideal relationship consists of commitment, understanding, sacrifice, trust, faith, love, investment, communication, respect, and equality. If your relationship fails in any of these qualities, you need to revisit from an analytical perspective.
In any dealings in life, all your labor must have a productive result. You cannot continue to waste the borrowed time you have on this earth with anything that is not productive. The years you have invested in a failed relationship are the years you have wasted and can never get back. The endeavor of walking away from a dead relationship is the separation of customs. You become accustomed to having an unproductive individual in your life with hopes that they will eventually come around. It is hard to leave; however, I have to concur with the saying, “I rather do badly by myself!”
In relationships, there will be ebbs and flow, wax and wane, good times, and bad times. It is expected, yet when there are more bad times than good, you need to re-evaluate your situation. My rule of thumb, “I don’t mind suffering with you, but I’m not going to suffer because of you!”
Keep in mind that GOD, at times, closes a door to move us along to better situations, for He knows we are powerless to do it on our own accord. He has given us the power to reposition people in our lives. Let the divine plan unfold and make peace with your decision to leave. Every moment, every obstacle, every situation has a reason, there is always a purpose shrined in mystery. The purpose may not be revealed immediately for our gratification, yet seek solace by knowing that it will be shown on GOD’s time. Gain closure and let the healing process begin.
Let us take a moment and look very closely at the Book of Mathew. One day Jesus invited a man to follow Him and become His disciple—but the man refused. He said he would follow Jesus later, but first, he wanted to go bury his father. Jesus responded, “Follow me and let the dead bury their own dead” (Matthew 8:22). You must understand the allegory; Jesus intended to convey that we should separate ourselves from those who are spiritually dead and anything associated with hindering our spiritual and relational growth with Him. If you are in a relationship that does not provide the three innate needs – purpose, love, and security- then you are not in a relationship. You have become a slave, and your partner has become the master. There is no hope or future in this type of relationship. Only Jesus can raise the dead as in John 11:38-44, don’t ever think you can resurrect a dead relationship.
Throughout many years of failed relationships which lacked the three innate needs that I mentioned, I finally came to understand that I needed to first have a personal and intimate relationship with GOD, for He genuinely fulfilled those innate needs. I began to learn how to be alone without experiencing loneliness.