If you’re like me, you’re probably single. And if you’re even more like me, you’ve probably been single for a while. Maybe you’ve begun to lose hope in ever finding someone to spend your life with.
When preachers and teachers get on this topic, they like to bring up Paul and his singleness. They’ll use 1 Corinthians 7 as a reference. There’s nothing wrong with that. It paints a beautiful photo of marriage and singleness. Some bring up a quote from Paul where he said that it is better to be single than to marry. But Paul isn’t the only person we can learn a thing or two from when it comes to relationships. Yes, Ruth is a beautiful representation of relationships. But I’m thinking further back. Like… the beginning. The book of Genesis chapter two, to be exact.
Have you ever thought about the fact that Adam, the first created man, was technically single? Yes. Before he met Eve, before God created Eve, Adam was alone. But not completely.
From Adam, we learn a little bit about relationships. Not just spousal relationships, but about a relationship with the Father and His creation.
We can learn from Adam’s singleness that being single isn’t some incurable disease or something to feel shame for. No. Even better. It’s a season planned by God for a purpose. Hear me out. I know we talk a lot about seasons in the Christian community. Just hear me out.
Single: The Purpose
A lot of things come with a purpose, right? Razor blades have a purpose to shave. Cars have a purpose to get you from point A to point B faster. Candles have a purpose to smell good and make a room smell good while providing relaxation and light. One of the purposes of the Bible is to teach us about God. The season of singleness has a purpose as well.
I believe that God didn’t create Eve right away for a reason. He could’ve. But He didn’t. Why?
The late Maya Angelou once said, “A women’s heart should be so hidden in God, that a man has to seek Him just to find her.” I believe that that is what this is. Singleness is a time for us to be seeking God and growing closer to Him. It is a time where we learn what is most important. A relationship with God is what comes first which, in turn, creates a foundation for future relationships.
Single: Only God Can Heal You
Vladimir Savchuk says this, “In fact, Adam was so lost in God’s presence that he did not know he was alone.” It was God who told Adam that he needed someone, not the other way around. Vladimir goes on to say, “You need to be so lost in the Holy Spirit that He has to remind you that you are alone… What you really need is the Holy Spirit. When you seek Him, He makes you whole. The issue of dating will become a matter of want, not need.”
A date isn’t something that is going to mend a broken heart or even fill it. So, yes, Paul was right to say that it is better to be alone. You grow closer to God in a way that mends broken hearts, frees you, and makes you whole. Only God can do that. That is the purpose of singleness. Stop looking for a worldly solution and start looking to God. Building a relationship with God first will pave the way for a Christ-centered relationship and marriage later down the road.