Is it hard for you to take a stand or say no to people in your life because you don’t want to hurt them?
Or maybe you’re like me that sometimes doesn’t know when and how is the best way to set boundaries in your life from things and people you love.
Recently I had something come up that was very sensitive to deal with because it involved a close family member that I love with all my heart. But as I’m healing and growing I cannot have this person too close to my life just yet because of the pain that still sits in me even though I have 100% forgiven them.
I was so confused about how to set boundaries in a healthy and kind way. I wanted this person to know how much I still love them and want things to be better between us but I also want to protect my heart as it still heals. But I had no direction until I opened up to a friend about it that day. What she told me revealed Gods way of how to set boundaries. Before then I had a hard time believing God wanted me to do that. For a long time I thought God was saying “umm girl there is no boundaries, if you have love then act like it and open up your whole life to them.”
Thankfully that is not what He was saying at all and there is a better way to love…Gods way.
I asked my full of wisdom friend named Imani for prayer on this issue and she asked me this question, “What low fruits do you have available to give?”
At first I didn’t understand but as she explained, everything became clearer. She was saying that we are like a tree that took its time in all seasons to become what it is now. Now, that it has a bit of fruit some may want you to share; that can be your time, energy, resources and attention. She continues to say “Is there a way you can give without having to bend over your heart in full to this person? Where you just give them what is easy and effortless to give now?”
You Can Still Be Kind and Love as You Set Boundaries
To continue with this analogy of you being a fruitful tree; you do not have to sacrifice your top fruits to anyone or anything that needs or even demands it. You can give what is ripe and ready and easy for them to reach. When you’re unsure about what boundaries to set in your life for certain people or even things; just check your heart and ask, “will it require for me to bend and break my tree trunk, branches and even roots to give it to them?” If the answer is yes then you have to see what you can give if any and set the boundaries there. That is the kindest way to protect you and them moving forward.
Healthy Way to Grow
Another thing to consider is that boundaries can be flexible as time and growth happens. The people that you trusted with little and were grateful with what you could give then can now be entrusted with more. By choosing the healthy way to give you grow stronger and stronger as a fruitful tree so you can carry more things and people to enjoy your beautiful fruits too.
Setting boundaries is the only way that you can continue to grow big and strong. You’ll produce more fruit and shade for those that desire it. That is how you can truly love others in a healthy way. By protecting your delicate self and you loving and accepting what you have the grace to do in this season.
Stay Connected to the Vine
I know we can’t picture ourselves willingly wanting to detach ourselves from something that is good and helping us. But that’s what we are doing when we are trying to give something we’re not quite ready to give. As you stay connected and rooted to the one that is giving you all that you have; others will see that they can too. That empowers and frees them.
That is true love Gods way.
When you hit your limit be honest and lean into the source. Recognize that when you are weak He is strong.
That is setting boundaries Gods way.
Giving those you love the low fruits in your fruitful tree is not being mean or selfish. It’s recognizing that you are not the source and you only can give what was given to you. Past that is the farmers job to give. You just be what you were created to be and let Him be what you are not. Plus! The ripe fruit that is good and ready is the best of you anyway. How sweet and kind is that?!
“I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.” (John 15)
Read More Here: ARE YOU WAITING FOR THE DREAMS GOD’S GIVEN YOU TO HAPPEN?