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Marina Magdalena

Raising Children In This Sexualized World

by Rhoda Gayle June 25, 2021

As a parent, how can we raise our children as they are exposed to this sexualized world?

Sexualized World

In an episode of The Mum Show hosted by Marina Magdalena, child therapist Emma Browne and pastor Claire Hooper talk about parenting in this sexualized world. How can you properly and wisely deal with your children to protect them from sexual sins?

As pornography becomes more available to everyone nowadays, young children are more at risk to be exposed to it. According to the psychotherapist, Emma, pornography has a terrible effect on everyone, especially the young ones.

“Young children are being exposed to pornography,” Emma said. “It’s just a click of a button literally and it’s there for anybody who wanted to access it. What messages is that giving to our young men who are watching that?”

God’s design for sex

She also emphasizes that pornography tells the complete opposite of how God designed sex. The enemy uses porn to amplify lust and eradicate love.

“It’s about loving your body, loving your partner’s body. It’s an act of love; it’s an act of union; it’s an act of creation. It’s the complete opposite to the messages that pornography gives to our children,” she said.

Parenting

The three moms then continued to share how a parent can raise their children to protect them from committing sexual sins. Always be there for your children and give them grace if they happen to make a mistake. Build a strong relationship with them.

At the end of their discussion, it all comes down to the redemption of the Cross. There’s always room for one person to come back whenever they make a wrong decision.

“Give your child permission that if they do make a bad choice, or if they do happen to click on that website or take it a bit too far, or whatever, that they can come back, there’s that space to come back.”

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Reference: GOD TV

June 25, 2021 0 comment

Faith

The Mum Walk of Shame!

by Marina Magdalena March 6, 2019

written by Marina Magdalena

Hi Marina Magdalena here from the Mum Show!

When the “Tour de France” hit Yorkshire ,the Shire went CRAZY! Driving through the dales all you could see were villages smothered in spotty bunting, old bikes spray painted yellow and hung on walls, and welcome signs – lots of welcome signs! My already bike obsessed family couldn’t wait to get involved – and because I can literally make a celebration out of anything, (I even celebrate this fact about myself) I booked us tickets to a big stately home to watch the start of the race, opened by none other than William, Kate and Harry! It meant sitting on deck chairs to save our spots with 2 small children at 4am. It was ridiculous and hilarious, but the Magdalena’s had caught yellow Jersey fever.

So there we are – huddled in together, surrounded by 1000’s of people with a long road stretching before us and 1000’s more people lining the other side. We could see their expectant faces, eyes dancing with delight as any minute the Royals would drive down in huge Range Rovers followed by some of the worlds greatest cyclist. The atmosphere was buzzing and yet all that could be heard was a low chatter of excited conversation. I was thrilled with how my plan was coming together, until my Mum tapped me on the shoulder (yes, I even convinced my parents to come) and said, “Marina, you might want to deal with that…”

I looked down to see that my gorgeous three year old had chosen this precise moment to drop his pants and fire a perfectly arched wee to the 1000’s of spectators on the other side of the road. Thank the Lord he fell short of spraying anyone by literally millimetres. But everyone was watching. First him, then me, to see what I was going to do. But what can you do? There is no stopping a weeing toddler mid flow!?! And there was no other space for him to direct it. So I just had to stand there, awkwardly watching my child urinate the path that would soon be welcoming Royalty and athletes alike!

I remember at the time going bright red, getting this huge lump in my throat and feeling mortified that I was the mum letting her kid wee in the middle of the crowd. I felt every ounce of shame, I as good as wrote it on a tee shirt and wore it around for a few hours. But that’s crazy right – he was 3, you can’t have a toddler without a toilet story, and anyway, I wasn’t the one dropping my pants! The truth is, this day happened right in the middle of my “take it personally” season. Because for a while I remember wearing all of my children’s mis behaviours, turbulent emotions and struggles.

If my child was hard work for you today – I am SO Sorry! If my child was being grumpy – I am SO Sorry. If my child wouldn’t take turns on the slide – I am SO sorry! But the problem with all of my apologising and shame absorbing, was that I was missing what was really going on. I should have been saying, “My child was hard work today?…(turn to my kids) hey, sweetheart, have you had a hard day? Tell me all about it.” Because ultimately I am here to help my children navigate their challenges, not stick it on a shirt and own it for them! And the truth is, that is the kindest thing we can do for them.

My kids will mess up – and I don’t mean urinating on royalty, cause bless him he was 3! They will mess up and surprise me and face all kinds of challenges. But now, thanks to the grace of God, their Mum will be fine. They don’t need to worry about me falling to pieces or taking things personally. Instead, I can get on and do my job, which is simply drawing close and loving them through it!

Harewood House Tour de France

by Marina Magdalena

The Mum Show

The Mum Show airs on GOD TV on Mondays at 9pm. It is produced by the Promise Collective, founded by Marina Magdalena and features child therapist, Emma Browne and Life Church leader, Clare Hooper. Click to watch the Mum Show now on demand.

March 6, 2019 0 comment

Faith

God chose you to be the parent to your child

by Marina Magdalena February 21, 2019

written by Marina Magdalena

Hi Marina Magdalena here from the Mum Show!

I hope your week is unfolding nicely! Things have been busy over at Promise Collective with another episode of “MUM SHOW” out in the world, 2 new blog contributors on our website (we love them and I am sure you will too!) and I have even blogged about one of my less finer moments, all in the name of mum solidarity 😉 As the week goes on I have felt a God whisper inside, reminding me each day, that those forgotten passions and secrete dreams gathering dust in the back of our minds – they are all there for a purpose. Each day we commit to knowing Jesus, tuning into his heart and enjoying HIM regardless of our circumstance, is another day moving towards those amazing promises he has put over our lives! Parenting is busy, life is full, but nothing can overshadow the faithfulness and generosity of GOD! We hope you find some joy in this weeks newsletter, chat soon, marina xx

BLOG: You are built for This!

I am mum to two children both of whom I gave birth to in Spain. I remember being 2 weeks past my due date, which if I’m honest, as a new mum, age 26, in a foreign country, was pretty terrifying and I had gone to the hospital with my husband Dominic for a last minute scan to see what was going on… > >

In Spain it was the ”festival of the kings”, the day they celebrate the kings giving presents to Jesus, so the hospital was very quiet and the staff were relaxed and informal. I don’t think anyone had really planned on doing too much work that day, but since I had convinced myself that being 2 weeks overdue meant there was a possibility my baby would actually never come out, I insisted on being given a scan. So I hopped on the bed and the sonographer was doing her thing, when all of a sudden I heard her say “Madre Mia! Que Grande! Que Grande, Que Grande, oi oi oi!!!”

Now for those of you who don’t speak Spanish she basically said, “oh my days, this baby is huge! Huge I tell you, really, really huge!” She was a little less dramatic, but not really, not when this huge baby is one you are about to deliver. So, anyway, she kept moving the camera over me and muttering away to herself, “This baby is really big, you know, I don’t know how you gonna deliver her, I mean really!

Now the thing to know about Spanish ladies is that they are more petite than us British girls, and so whilst their babies were coming out around 5 or 6 lbs I was managing to cook up a hefty 9lber – and it was really troubling the medical staff who would soon be looking after me. All of a sudden the sight of my huge tummy, the stressed out sonographer, the sudden (and very intrusive) arrival of three men dressed as middle eastern kings offering me bowls of sweets, all became too much and I started to stress out. I looked at my husband and said in a panicky voice, “its not happening is it, the babies never coming out, I am actually always going to be pregnant aren’t I !?”

At this point the lady realised I was losing it and so, once she had sent the three kings packing, she got close to me, held my hand in hers, and then using her other hand to slap my thighs she said, “Don’t you worry, you built for this…no really, look, you have very big hips, you may have very big baby, but you also have very big hips, so you know…you gonna be fine, you built for this!”

Oh how my husband laughed! And I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry, breath a sigh of relief or jump down and do 50 squats! And yet, in all of that chaos and drama and concern – I felt deep down in my soul that Jesus had just whispered me the most wonderful promise, “Marina, you are built for this.” The phrase went through my head as I laboured and has stayed with me ever since. Because sometimes parenting is really hard. Sometimes you have days, weeks even, where you feel like you have reached your end, that the very best you have to offer is just not enough. Whether its the needs of a newborn or an older child who is struggling, as parents we can so often find ourselves feeling like we are carrying more than we feel we can handle. And boy is it hard! You can find yourself searching google, reading books, asking everyone’s opinion, convincing yourself that someone else would do a better job of raising your child. But the truth is, the child you are raising, however they came to you, whether you are their natural parent or not, the child you are raising is not with you by accident. They will go through hard times, they will struggle and at times completely confuse us, but you were built for this.

God chose you, made you and raised you to be the parent to your child. And the great thing is, when you do find you have reached your end, you have tried and tried and there is nothing else left in you – that’s when we can dip into our reserves, these beautiful pools of Gods grace, because whilst God calls us to parent, he doesn’t ask us to do it alone. So if you are having one of those seasons where you feel like your best just isn’t enough, I want to encourage you, friend; YOU are BUILT for THIS !

by Marina Magdalena

The Mum Show

February 21, 2019 1 comment

Articles

7 Ways to Help A Strong Willed Child

by Marina Magdalena October 27, 2017

written by Marina Magdalena

7 WAYS TO HELP A STRONG WILLED CHILD

My kids are fun, energetic and tenacious. I get to parent 2 children who will spend hours exploring across country on their bikes, will create games out of an empty space and can find silence hilarious. Their tenacity and independent thinking are great for adventures, problem solving and making the most of their environment. But brushing their teeth? Sitting quietly? Tidying away toys? Frankly, I may as well be asking them to single handedly clean Buckingham palace, in the dark – at least that is what you would assume, given their reactions! And whilst I am a huge champion of peaceful parenting – peace is the last thing that springs to mind when I eventually crack and hollar, “Clean your teeth!!!!” Seriously, even my husband grabs a toothbrush.

The truth is, this world needs a generation of tenacious, passionate people who act justly when no one else does, who love mercy when society says just love your self, and who are prepared to walk humbly, in friendship with their saviour — when their generation will tell them it’s foolish. Those of us with strong willed kids are on to winners, it may not always feel it, but we really are. However the earth also needs a generation of spirit filled, tender yet equally tenacious parents to raise these incredible children. Whilst it can feel at times over whelming, a mums gift to her strong willed child is to help channel their determination, not shrink it! So here are a few ideas, from one exhausted mum to the next, on how to help our wild yet wonderful kids.

1) Don’t put in unnecessary boundaries.

God has created us with free will and a whole earth of potential. In the garden of Eden he kept it simple, go and enjoy yourselves, just avoid this tree.When Jesus commissioned the disciples he gave them principals to live by, and then sent them out with a simple go. A strong willed child will kick against always hearing the word “No,” but if you give them a strong “yes” the no will often loose appeal. Let them try new things, voice their thoughts, take a few risks whilst they are young and you are around to help them navigate their way through the damage. When setting boundaries ask yourself, is the end goal righteousness or safety, if not, consider whether it is a boundary you really need to make.

2) Offer choices, it makes them feel empowered and respected.

I was recently looking after a little girl in an indoor play area, who refused to wear socks in the soft play (they weren’t pink). Other children and a member of staff began getting very stressed about the child’s lack of compliance and came to find me to deal with it. Very aware that I didn’t want a big stand off, I decided to help the child feel a sense of positive authority over their own body, “Sweetheart, would you like to pop your socks on and run inside the soft play, or keep them off and you can run around the outskirts of the soft play?”

It was a genuine question, either option could be good fun, and suddenly the main object was not socks but location. She looked at me, picked up her socks and said, “I’ll play here.”

3) Humans mirror, be careful of your own behaviour!

A strong willed child who is confronted by a stubborn parent will likely greet them in the same manner. Are you giving your children breathing space, is the day set only to your pace, have you given room for other members of the family to explore what they love, try out new things and contribute their own ways of doing things? Many battles are saved when a child feels as though they are equally respected. Tenderness and flexibility can melt the heart of even the strongest will!

4) Master the sad face!

Much like the mirroring, if a child’s behaviour is met with anger, you can expect things to escalate pretty quickly. It is far easier for a child to respond warmly to a parent who is feeling sad about their choice than one who is angry. Anger can place a child into fight or flight mode, whereas a sad tone and face gives them the responsibility of repairing the broken trust.

5) Let your child negotiate!

Relationships need to offer both parties room to change the others mind. We see God give opportunity to Abraham to persuade him to save Sodom, he allows Moses to change his mind about leaving the children of Israel and sending an Angel instead. It is not a sign of God’s weakness but rather his dedication to building connection and friendship with his children. Aside from the relational benefits, allowing your child room to articulate their thoughts, form an argument and convince someone of something whilst in a safe environment, will give them the tools to use their determination and tenacity well in later life.

6) Don’t negotiate with terrorists!

At times my children will know how to keep me talking for so long I am completely baffled and loose sight of what I am trying to achieve. If my kids are being rude or aggressive I’ll simply say, “Come back and chat to me when your heart is kind” and walk off. They may follow me (and usually do at first), shouting all the way, but they have learned that nothing new will happen until they speak to me with a kind heart.

7) Connect!

At times I may think my kids have reacted impulsively or irrationally, but when I take the time to dig deeper and chat things through, I can often discover a well intentioned heart with poor execution. Connecting with our kids and really listening to their thoughts and reasoning is a powerful way of demonstrating, “I love you, and I am on your side!”

Wherever you are in your journey of raising strong willed kids — keep going! Keep looking for creative ways to engage your children, to raise their empathy and to train their independent minds. I pray you will, in fact, I know you will. After all, their strength and tenacity is probably a gift they’ve inherited from you!

October 27, 2017 0 comment