Sustaining, life-giving friendships don’t just happen. They take vulnerability and intentionality.
We might know this…but it does not change the effort that’s required to make new friends and sustain your current ones. Here are 3 ways to purposefully cultivate friendship.
1. Make yourself available to others
If you have that tug in your heart for deeper community or friendship with someone, tell them! Allow yourself a low-stakes opportunity to invite them to spend time together and express your desires. This isn’t a contract of course, but it does show that you care and are wanting to follow through with actually building something.
2. Commit to consistent plans
Deciding you want to develop a new friendship is one thing, but putting time on the calendar to actually spend time together is another. Choosing a time that you regularly meet can be a helpful way to have time to look forward to. Serve together in your church, attend a class for a shared interest, or even just make a regular coffee or dinner date. As you begin that scheduling, keep in mind how seasons can change.
3. Know your season
As you meet with a peer, set realistic expectations for what you can give and would like from the relationship. Are you looking for someone to pour over the word with? Or really hoping for someone to have fun with? Maybe both. Let that be known. We all need Godly friendships, regardless of what our life happens to look like in a particular season. But realistically looking at your schedule and knowing what you have capacity for is vital to re-evaluate every so often. In short, clarity is everything.
Developing healthy friendship isn’t something you can calculate. But you can start new ones with clarity and peace, knowing you are taking steps into healthy connection that honors God.
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