There’s nothing wrong with using dating apps if you’re single and looking for a life partner, but they can be dangerous especially if you’re prone to over using your smartphone! App dating can become so addictive that you sit staring into a small screen for hours at a time, and before you know it you can hardly think straight… So what’s the solution?
5 things to remember that will help you manage your online dating more effectively.
1. Just because he/she is near doesn’t mean they’re within reach
The invention of geo-social networking applications may give you the ability to know who’s close by but that doesn’t mean they will want to take up the opportunity to meet you. Even so, because these apps show your location and the people around you, it can become an addiction to check out who’s on the grid, especially when you visit a new place. It’s almost an enticement as the thought comes into your head, “What am I missing out on?”
You have to come to the place in your life when you are content and don’t feel you are missing out! Many users have said they can’t help but check out the profiles of who’s supposedly available in their vicinity and wait for new faces to come online from close by. This can be frustrating and yet you feel powerless to stop. Believe me, there are better ways of spending one’s time!
2. Just because they look attractive doesn’t mean they are
It seems that an ongoing complaint of dating app users is that so many people use fake profiles / photographs. “Now why on earth would people do that?” you may ask… That’s not going to help them in the long run and yet this frequently happens. One needs to be careful of people impersonating others or misrepresenting who they are. Age seems to be a big thing here with users complaining of some people being a little elastic when it comes to their true age!
Okay so a lady may be entitled to keep a secret or two about her age, but a gentleman?! You need to remember that everything that happens online has a certain measure of make-believe. Even if it’s just people presenting themselves in the best way possible. To really connect with a person you need to interact on a deeper level.
3. They can build you up but also break you down
Waiting for that tap, message or match can be exciting, even thrilling, however, you can just as easily feel rejected when you don’t get the response you’d like. When it boils down to a simple swipe left or right, in a matter of seconds, can people really make an informed decision? No, they can’t so you have to take these immediate responses with a pinch of salt!
It’s wonderful to be complimented, but it’s really tough when you’re ignored. You start wondering if there’s something wrong with you and whether or not you are good enough? However, one cannot take these things personally, you just have to take it all in your stride. Remember you are good enough. Well God says you are and what He says counts more than anything else.
4. They can be the biggest time wasters
No matter how much time you spend coming up with the best possible profile, trying to take the perfect selfie, it may take time for the right match to come along requiring infinite patience. It’s the same in real life. Good things come to those who wait! Endless chatting to find the right person can leave you drained. And this has an adverse effect on the real people around you, your family, friends, and work colleagues who take second place over your online chats.
It’s probably best to curtail your ‘dating time’ to a limited period a day or whatever limit works realistically for you. Then, rather spend most of your time engaging with real people. People have been known to meet and fall in love outside of their smartphones and the Internet! It still happens and don’t underestimate God’s Hand in matchmaking if you leave it up to Him!
5. Many are not interested in a long term relationship
Unfortunately, many online dating apps are just a front for NSA (no strings attached) liaisons or “hookups”. Though there are of course genuine people out there and people can meet their life partners online, that is the exception rather than the rule.
Don’t waste your time chatting to people who are already in a relationship and just looking for something on the side. You don’t want to get mixed up in an ungodly liaison. If you really want to meet “the one”, it’s worth the wait! We should never allow dating apps to rule us or our romantic life, we must rather rule them. The Bible says we have been given a spirit of love and of power and of self-control. Let’s use it!
Further helpful reading
- 5 Tips I Wish Someone Had Given Me About Online Dating!
- Can A Christian Date A Non-Believer?
- Good Things Happen For Those Who Wait! Congratulations Pour In For Tim and Demi
This post was compiled by James Sinclair