It is eye opening really, when you realize finally and completely, that God was never asking you to serve Him without knowing exactly what He had to work with.
He wasn’t looking for perfection because, well – at the end of every day we are still gonna be human. Humans are NOT perfect. And yet, somehow – we expect ourselves and others to be just that. NOT possible. On my best day, with my best of intentions, and my ducks with their hair slicked back all in a row and standing in formation, I am still going to fall or fail or at the very least – flail.
I was thinking about myself today, thinking about how I wrote two books – telling my story and subsequent healing journey, and I STILL feel like my story is messy. STILL messy. I was wondering if I would ever NOT have a messy story.
THANKFUL FOR THE CRACKS
I think not. I mean, a pot that is broken and put back together, STILL has visible cracks. Ah. I still have visible cracks. I am NOT broken anymore – THAT is true, BUT I have the effects of having been a broken pot. From broken to cracked – from useless to useful – from ashes to beauty – from shattered to restored.
“Waking up to a new sunrise
Looking back from the other side
I can see now with open eyes
Darkest water and deepest pain
I wouldn’t trade it for anything
‘Cause my brokenness brought me to You
And these wounds are a story You’ll use
So I’m thankful for the scars
‘Cause without them I wouldn’t know Your heart
And I know they’ll always tell of who You are
So forever I am thankful for the scars.” (“Scars” by I AM THEY)
HE PIECED ME BACK TOGETHER
So yes, I wrote two books about my healing. Yes, I have and AM still healing. And yes, I will always have visible cracks to remind myself of God’s redemption and putting me back together. You know – like Humpty Dumpty.
I think finally I am at peace with my own humanity. God asks us to come to Him as we are. It is the authentic and honest turn of our heart TO Him that He is looking for. And then, voila – He works THROUGH us.
A perfect God with a perfect plan, working through imperfect people – how perfectly imperfect. I get it. I can stop beating myself up now. I am SO okay with being just a crackpot. Because it is NOT about the pot or the cracks but ALL about the light shining out FROM those cracks. Romans 5:5 says, “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”
Stories are messy. Pots are cracked. And it is okay. Every story matters. Every pot carries light shining from – cracks. We become cracked pots full of God’s love shining forth.
#storiesaremessy #weareallcrackedpots #WeAllNeedJesus
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