Recently I found myself missing God so much. It had been too long since it had been just Him and me alone. Lingering. Enjoying. Abiding. Worship had been sustaining me. A period of fasting had kept me going. Praying each morning online had brought strength. Talking to God and reading the Bible on my phone first thing each morning as I lay in my bed, preparing for another insanely busy day, in an insanely busy season, had kept my connection with heaven flowing. Yet it wasn’t enough. Sure, it was strengthening and renewing and life-giving, yet none of it compared to simply being with Him. Feeling Him so close. Beholding His beauty. And being consumed from the inside out.
As I pulled on my sneakers and threw my stuff together, ready to rush out of the house this morning, I reminisced on the last time I’d experienced this tangible, intoxicating presence of God’s nearness during my ordinary day. I calculated that it had been about a month. Wow. A whole month since the walls of my flat had experienced the sweet, sweet echo of my unhindered praise. Thirty days since my wooden flooring had felt the weight of my knees surrendered in worship. Four weeks since the King of glory had been offered my undivided attention. Undiluted affection. An uncluttered mind. One whole month since He’d been given permission to woo my heart with His sheer indescribable loveliness. My heart ached as I remembered what that felt like.
The Gift Of God’s Truth
Imagine my sheer delight then, when my plans for today changed and my afternoon appointment got cancelled. Woohoo. The joy. YESSS! I grabbed my Bible as soon as I walked through the door and walked into the kitchen. Finding myself in Psalm 119, I read the first verse. It instantly floored me.
“BLESSED (HAPPY, fortunate, to be envied) are the undefiled (the upright, truly sincere, and blameless) in the way [of the revealed will of God], who walk (order their conduct and conversation) in the law of the Lord (the whole of God’s revealed will).” (Psalm119:1) (AMP)
Suddenly I was smacked in the face by the scandalous, unfathomable blessing of having the truth of God revealed to me. What an incredible gift it is, for anyone who knows the truth. For those who have had the truth unveiled to them. And to think I was once living a lie. I was once completely in the dark. Because anyone who walks in the truth of God now would have once been in the dark. Jesus thank You for revealing Your truth to me. Where would I be without Your beautiful truth? All these thoughts went through my mind as I read this verse and began to sob hysterically. He was right there. Even before I finished reading the verse He showed up. BAM. His sweet presence, flooring me with His nearness.
Companionship So Freely Bestowed
I was awestruck. Humbly touched by how instantly I was able to feel His tangible presence. Wow. His beauty and lavish companionship are so freely bestowed upon us. He is so kind. So beautiful. So very worthy of our adoration. He began to fill my heart afresh with compassion for the lost. For all those who haven’t yet had the truth unveiled to them. Those who hadn’t seen or understood or accepted the truth yet.
I was overcome afresh with my own inability to walk in truth. And soberly reminded of my own inability to truly know the truth. I can only walk in truth because it has been revealed to me by God. It is the truth of God that cleanses me and causes me to be upright, truly sincere, and blameless like Psalms 119:1 says. Only Jesus’ righteousness in which I am hidden affords me this, not my own ability to pursue truth.
I found myself considering my life of darkness and deception before the truth of God’s love was unveiled to me. Though – yes absolutely – I am so grateful that I have been beautifully delivered from a life of darkness into wonderful truth, yet this discovery of truth is not my doing. It is in God’s mercy and grace that He has ever so kindly and compassionately revealed His truth to me. I was reminded that we cannot ever boast in our own ability to walk in truth. We can never consider ourselves in any way superior to someone who may not yet know the truth – because the truth is not a mere pursuit of fallen man, but it is in fact a gracious gift from a loving, merciful God. Truly. Where would we be without Him? How would we live a day without His truth guiding us?
Travelling A Heavenly Road
As I reflect on the beautiful encounter that I am having I am undone. Oh, how I love His presence. How I love His Word. I just love how He was waiting all along for me. I love how the moment I opened His Word, He instantly took me on a journey into the supernatural. Where I found myself travelling a heavenly road inside the adventure of His Word, unveiling treasure and truth. This is what I had missed so much. This glorious unravelling that comes when we hang out together. It’s not to say I hadn’t been with Him over the last month – I totally had. On countless occasions. But I hadn’t journeyed with Him in heavenly places. I hadn’t beheld Him. Hadn’t stopped everything. Dropped everything. Just for Him.
And now, I stood in complete awe of the scandal of His nearness. It blows my mind that the minute I looked at Him and gave Him my gaze, He instantly came. The very second I beheld His Word with a heart that was so desperately hungry for Him, He tangibly showed up. And He did not come empty-handed. He came ladened with gifts. Not just the gift of God’s truth but the gift of His affirmation…His acceptance…And His delight…Gifts of fresh revelations of His love and kindness. Timeless truths…and the gift of His presence. All so intricately intertwined with one another. So nourishing and delicious, yet so insatiably appetising…rendering me overflowing with satisfaction, yet desperately hungry for more.
Read more from Bobbi here.