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spouse

Relentless Woman, Let Jesus Be Your Joy, Peace, & Security Before Finding A Spouse

by Christel Berns May 26, 2021

It’s way too easy to rely upon another person for your joy, peace, and security. Especially if somebody meets your needs and expectations as a woman. However, by doing that, you are setting yourself up for disappointment in the long run. Because at the end of the day, no one will ever satisfy your heart unless you let Jesus satisfy you first.

It was the late Dr. Myles Munroe who said, “The time you are most prepared for dating is when you don’t need anyone to complete you, fulfill you, or instill in you a sense of worth or purpose.”

Whenever you hear someone telling you that you complete him, that’s a red flag. Because we are all broken people who need God, and He is the only One who can satisfy us. When you make a person your world and someone who could complete you, don’t be surprised if your relationship will spiral downward. That is why before you decide on entering into a relationship or finding a spouse, let Jesus be your satisfaction.

Let Jesus Be Your Joy, Peace, And Security

Instead of spending your time looking for a spouse, dear relentless woman, let your focus be Jesus first. Make it your goal to pursue the Lord first more than anything in this world. That is how you prepare for a God-written love story that the Lord has for you. Let Him be your joy, peace, and security first before you engage. I encourage you to be a woman after God’s own heart first.

It is written in Matthew 6:33, “But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Seek God first, and when you are fully satisfied in God, only then are you ready to meet the best God has for you. So, trust the process and surrender to God this precious area of your life.

ALSO READ: Relentless Woman, Stop Chasing Feelings And Listen To God

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May 26, 2021 0 comment

Family

God First, Marriage Second, Kids Third

by Joanna Flavin September 2, 2020

written by Joanna Flavin

Today is my 13th wedding anniversary! My husband and I got married at the age of 22, right after college (I’ll let you do the math at how old I am). 22 years old – we were little babies getting married. In this culture and society, where people are getting married later and having kids later, people thought we were nuts. “What’s the rush?” “What if you meet someone else now that you’re out in the real world?” But, when you follow God’s plan for you and keep God first, at the center of your life and of your relationship, there is no “rush” or “mistake”. God reveals His perfect plan and timing for you and your spouse.

My husband and I met when we were 5 years old. His family moved to the neighboring town and his dad was hired to be a youth pastor and associate pastor at the church my family attended. So, we really don’t have any memories of life without each other. We went through Sunday School together, Youth Group, and even though we went to different schools we found time to hang out outside of the church as well. Fast forward to junior year of high school and we went to each other’s proms and eventually started dating that summer. We made it through different colleges (an hour apart) and got married the summer after graduation – Labor Day weekend 2007.

God First

And here we are 13 years later. We endured 5 moves, 3 kids, deaths in the family, traumatic events, new jobs, success, failure…you name it we’ve been through it…together. “Together” is the keyword here. The only way we’ve survived any of the past 13 years is because we have focused our lives on God and seeking Him first. He has made us better people, better spouses, better communicators, and better parents. But we wouldn’t be the parents we are today if we didn’t keep Him at the center of our own lives and marriage.

Focus On The Family has some great tips on how to build a successful, Christ-centered marriage.

1. God First: Commitment

“Commitment means putting your spouse’s needs above your own. Studies show that the best indicator of marital well-being is how well each partner feels his or her needs are being met. I’ve found that when I focus only on my needs and forget about my wife, I tend to get irritated and disappointed. I may even begin to imagine how much better off I’d be with a different wife. On the other hand, I feel satisfied when I focus on my wife’s needs and how I can creatively meet them.” (Source) Bingo. If we are both focused on putting our spouse’s needs first then both of our needs are always met as a result.

2. Communication

“Like conflict resolution, communication is a learned skill — and it’s often hard work. Time must be reserved for meaningful conversations. Taking walks and going out for dinner are conversation inducers that keep love alive.” (Source) Communication is KEY. When my hubby and I were in college and doing “long-distance” we only had the phone. And AOL Instant Messenger (HA!). The only way we could communicate our needs was by talking openly and frequently. We talked about everything that we were feeling whether it was joyful, hard, sad, painful, funny, etc. Talking often and honestly is the best way to communicate.

3. Patience

“Marriage especially takes time and care to become really beautiful. That means learning patience…When you put two people — any two — in the same house, you’re going to have irritations and annoyances. There are times when I think God designed marriage just to teach me patience.” (Source) Truth. My husband does not like the way I squeeze my toothpaste tube. And I don’t like his mounds of clutter. But it is important to remember nobody is perfect. We all have quirks and flaws. Patience and grace allow us to look past those annoyances. And embrace one another’s uniqueness.

4. God First: Strong Beliefs

“Research shows that couples with strong religious beliefs are far more likely to stay together than those without them. It’s the shared morals and values that hold a husband and wife together. This solid foundation is a fortress against the storms of life.” (Source) God first. Marriage second. Kids third. Set yourselves up for success and a happy marriage!

September 2, 2020 0 comment

Articles

Marriage Communication 101

by Vance K Jackson August 12, 2019

written by Vance K Jackson

Why is marriage communication so challenging at times and what can we do about it?

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29)

Therapy Lessons: Marriage is a ministry

Marriage is a gift that God has given to you both.
Marriage is not bondage, nor is your wife a ball and chain.
Marriage is a covenant established by God Himself.
It’s not a place of imprisonment; it’s a place where the Peace of God can reign and flourish.
Marriage is a fulfillment of God’s promise and accelerant of Destiny.

Biblical Therapy for Marriage Communication

Satan attempts to steal, kill and destroy the peace in your Marriage through corrupt communication

The enemy, satan attempts to steal, kill and destroy the peace in your Marriage through corrupt communication. Your words are a ministry. “A man hath joy by the answer of his mouth: and a word spoken in due season, how good is it!” (Proverbs 15:23). When handling your spouse your words can bring forth life or death. Every word spoken against your house pulls down the walls of security in your marriage. The poison spoken through venomous words taints the faith-filled environment of your home and grants an opportunity for the enemy to have his way.

Your spouse is not the enemy. When you choose to emotionally attack your spouse, to “defend” yourself you’re actually self-destructing. “But he, knowing their thoughts, said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; a house divided against a house falleth.” (Luke 11:17). The home, the starting point and a portion of your kingdom, cannot stand when you carelessly tear down your spouse. Think of it this way, with every careless and negative word that you release over your spouse you pull down a brick of your home. “It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.” (John 6:63).

Let’s even take it one step further, before your words are spoken, what’s rooted in the ground of your heart? “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.” (Matthew 5:28) Examine the ground of your heart and the fruit or thorns it bears. Decide to sow grace and reap peace in your home and in your spouse’s heart. In God’s Covenant of marriage, He promises that He’s actively with you both. God does not take sides. He wants you to engage Him. You say that you have Faith in a Godly marriage but your communication is harsh and is corrupt toward your spouse. Faith without works is dead. Intentionally decide to work on the ground of your heart to cut down the thorns that tear down your marriage. Guard your words wisely. He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls. (Proverbs 25:28)

Tips to Handling Your Spouse with Care:

1. Systematic Prayer

How’s your prayer life? How often do you pray? Do you complain more than you pray? Often times, our prayer life, or lack thereof, is a direct reflection of your relationship with God and man. Decide to be intentional and diligent in spending quality time with God. Communicate with Him. Be intentional and set aside times to pray. Draw closer to Him, He desires to hear from you.

2. Pray With Your Spouse

Praying through the storms of life is important for the strength and the fertility of your marriage. Praying before a storm prepares your house on how to skillfully navigate the waves with God. You can start small by praying as a family together in the morning before work, before eating meals or even before you go to bed. You can even engage God through the Holy Spirit throughout the day, by praying quietly in your heavenly language.

READ ALSO: 3 Keys to a Prayerful Marriage

“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” (Amos 3:3)

3. Spontaneous Prayer

Throughout the day in addition to praying for your spouse in private, call up your spouse and pray together on the phone. Take turns selflessly praying for one another. God wants you both to succeed. He is with you. God is for you. Trust God.

August 12, 2019 0 comment

Video

Does God Really Tell Us Who Our Spouse Is?

by Rhoda Gayle March 21, 2019

written by Rhoda Gayle

Does God tell us who we are to marry? Prominent Christian YouTuber, Joseph Solomon has cautioned his followers that are single to stop claiming that God has told them who their spouse is or will be.

Joseph Solomon

Joseph, who has over 228,000 followers, tackles this sensitive topic concerning the dreams of single people, their future marriage aspirations and choice of spouse. He wants all his followers to “stop putting words in God’s mouth.”

“God didn’t tell you that that’s your husband/wife,” Joseph states in the introduction to the video below.

He emphasizes that it’s common for us to dream about people we spend the majority of our day thinking about. Dreaming about a person doesn’t mean that God is telling you to marry them.

“If all of my dreams came true, I’d have like five wives,” he jokingly says.

He does clarify that God can still use dreams to talk to us, but “the Bible doesn’t lead us to believe that’s the primary way we discern His will.”

The problems

Joseph also points out that you might not be the only one dreaming about that person.

“Have you ever thought that if someone is a generally desirable person, that you’re not the only one who feels the same way about God telling them to marry them?” he asks.

Believing that can also make a person feel bad about not marrying you because they desire to please God.

“So you’re telling them that they are disobeying God for not feeling the same way,” he says. This belief can also inflict pain to you.

“You can get upset with the person for not following God’s plan, or find yourself upset with God for Him not following through with something He never told you,” he said.

“God’s biggest plan for you is God”

So to avoid these problems about believing that God has told you to marry a specific person, focus on God’s desires for you. God’s ultimate plan for you isn’t about marriage but about working towards sanctification. His main goal for you is for you to become more like Jesus.

“And God has given us everything we need in His Word that pertains to life and godliness,” he added. “God’s biggest plan for you is God.”

Watch this video on YouTube

Reference: YouTube | Joseph Solomon

March 21, 2019 0 comment

Faith Lifestyle

12 Biblical Ways to Properly Handle the Heart Of Your Spouse

by Vance K Jackson October 13, 2017

written by Vance K Jackson

Handling The Heart Of Your Spouse

God designed Marriage to reflect His Heart. He crafted this Institution to be fruitful and satisfying. When we face challenges in our marriage or points of contention, the enemy tries to come in to divide what God intends to be unified under His Power and Love. When tensions rise, it’s important to know that God is with you even before the storm began and He desires to get you through and to the other side. He is Peace.

Here are a few helpful tips on handling your spouse’s heart through the storms of life:

Know that God created you both. So go to Him first for instruction.

“I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.” Psalms‬ ‭139:14‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Know that God cares for you both and He Loves you and wants to see you prosper and excel as one unit. God, the creator of Heaven and Earth, created the Earth itself and every person in it – including your spouse. He also knows every intricate detail of your spouse better than you or anyone else. So if God created your spouse, and can number the very hairs on their head (Matthew 10:30) go to Him first for heart instruction, direction and insight on how to handle the matter. Your Marriage belongs to God and He’ll lead you on how to handle your spouse’s heart in every situation. Your spouse is not your enemy. Emotions may rise but remember to guard your words and allow God to lead your actions.

Submit To God first and He will direct your path.

“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” Ephesians‬ ‭5:21‬ ‭KJV‬‬

If you’re finding it hard to submit to God and follow His Instruction in the small details of life, you’ll both find it challenging to submit to one another – especially during challenging times. When you submit your heart, actions and ways to God together as a household, you’ll find that He’ll lead your path and the storm will not tip your boat. As you follow God’s instruction, He will not cause your house to shipwreck. Choosing to allow The Word of God to lead your thoughts and actions when the waves and challenges of life rise will lead your home to good success. Decide together that fear has no place in your home – especially during seasons of difficulty. “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy‬ ‭1:7‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Choose to confess His Word frequently.

Fear will try to rule your thoughts in an attempt to navigate your home off course. Stand together as a unit and declare His Word over your situation and don’t allow fear to sink your ship. Let the peace of God rule within your hearts and rest upon your lips. “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.” Philippians‬ ‭4:7‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Declare God’s peace throughout the day. When you choose to declare the Peace of God throughout your day and to choose to meditate upon His Word, you’re actively making the decision not to allow chaos and dissension to disturb the peace in your home. Allow the Word of God to navigate your path and to shine His Light upon your course. Be intentional and allow God’s Word to stay on your lips and within the walls of your home and heart. Choose peace over dissension. Be intentional to choose God’s Peace over surrendering to your emotions. When the waves of life try to tip your boat remember that it is critical to declare God’s Word over how you may feel in the moment. Your temporary decisions can cause long term damage. Your words and actions during a storm can veer your ship off course. It is critical to listen to your spouse before responding. Your response is critical – especially during a storm. “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Proverbs‬ ‭15:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Listen to get an understanding.

“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.” Proverbs‬ ‭4:7‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Before responding abruptly, listen to your spouse in order to get an understanding. When listening to your spouse ensure that you are listening to their heart and not simply their words. It’s important to understand your spouse’s perspective before you give your response. A premature response can lead to a misunderstanding and an unresolved misunderstanding can lead to strife, discord and plant seeds of bitterness. Your spouse wants to be heard and understood. Learn to put your feelings aside and listen to the heart of your spouse before you release what’s in your heart. Pray together and ask God to guide the conversation before either person speaks.

Your spouse’s heart is in the Hand of The Lord.

“The king’s heart is in the hand of the Lord, as the rivers of water: he turneth it whithersoever he will.” Proverbs‬ ‭21:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

God has the power to turn the heart of your spouse. When you pray, God can soften, lead and redirect your heart. When you’re going through a turbulent season of life, God can lead and direct your marriage to reflect His Peace and Love – even during the middle of the storm. Your spouse’s heart is in the Hand of The Lord. The Peace of your marriage is in His Hands. Your Path is directed and shaped by His Word – if you allow Him to lead you. Allow God to lead your heart and discipline your flesh by surrendering to His Word and not responding out of haste. Before releasing a response out of emotion ask God to heal, lead, guide and direct your heart and lead your response before speaking. Even ask God when or if it’s the appropriate time to speak to your spouse regarding a matter. Allow The Holy Spirit to lead your words and actions.

Soft Answers Softens Hearts.

“A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.” Proverbs‬ ‭15:1‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Before responding, consider your words wisely. Continue to give a soft answer when conflict arises. Practice this principle continually throughout your marriage. Respond with a soft answer that’s seasoned with Grace and Wisdom. Allow your words to minister peace and not division, strife, confusion and chaos. Your soft words can heal and minister to your spouse’s heart and position your conversation to gain understanding. An answer that’s given out of emotion can stir up and ignite discord within the walls of your marriage. It’s your choice to handle your words with care. Or you can choose to mishandle the heart of your spouse through self sabotaging words that stir up division and discord.

Renewed mind. Wash, rinse and repeat daily.

“Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus:” Philippians‬ ‭2:5‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Ask God for wisdom on how to handle and navigate the storms and waves of life. Let His Word continually wash your mind and thoughts. In Matthew 4, as the disciples were traveling by boat, crossing over to the other side to reach their destination, a storm arose and the waves continually crashed into the ship. The disciples thought that the crashing waves were going to sink their boat, in fact, they allowed fear to magnify itself higher than Who was on the boat with them – Christ. During times of stress and discomfort focus on Christ. Allow God’s Word to navigate you through the storm. Rinse your mind with His Word. Choose to dwell on the Words of Christ. If Christ told you to go to the other side, then trust and know that His Word is secure and you will reach the other side. Do not allow the waves of life to strike fear within the borders of your ship. Trust God’s Word and speak to the waves of life.

Double-minded.

“A double-minded man is unstable in all his ways.” James‬ ‭1:8‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Your waywardness and indecisive behavior , not to follow the Word, can cause your ship to sink. When handling the heart of your spouse and sensitive matters of the house – it’s important to choose what God is saying about your situation over what the enemy is saying. Whose report will you believe? Find scriptures throughout the Bible that pertain to your circumstance and stand on His Word – together. Be intentional and steadfast on what His Word declares about your situation. When you sway back and forth, deciding whether or not to believe God or to surrender to fear your ship becomes unstable. Your indecisiveness brings about self inflicted waves that can cause your boat to sink. When your faith is being challenged as a couple, choose to believe God’s Word over what the evidence may say. Remember God’s Word stands as Truth over what the facts may present. Trust and believe what God is saying together as a couple. Set a time to consistently pray together. A unified house will conquer any storm. Stay focused.

It’s time to make a choice.

“And if it seem evil unto you to serve the Lord, choose you this day whom ye will serve; whether the gods which your fathers served that were on the other side of the flood, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land ye dwell: but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” Joshua‬ ‭24:15‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Today you can choose a new path. Together as a couple you can repent and turn your hearts back to God – at this moment you can choose to serve God. Today, at this very moment, you can choose to let go of the idols of the past. When you surrender, you’re choosing to allow God to lead your heart, your home and even your marriage. Every part of your life belongs to Him. When you idolize your image, education, business, family, career or even your wealth you’re choosing to cling on to and worship temporal things over God. When you set your heart on temporal things (earthly things that will fade) instead of trusting in God, you’re setting your heart and your marriage up for disappointment and ultimately failure. When you idolize temporal things over God, you’re choosing to set your house up to continue in the wilderness cycle. To break the wilderness cycles of past, you must choose who you will serve, God or fear. Will you choose to serve the fear of the past and cling onto its idols and ideals or, embrace your future and walk in faith as a couple and fully walk in your God Ordained Purpose.

Let Grace season your words.

“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers.” Ephesians‬ ‭4:29‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Corrupt communication can lead to bitter seeds within the walls of your marriage. Edify your spouse through God’s Word. Pray and release what God is saying about your spouse. Your Words can either minister to the heart of your marriage or erode it’s walls through vile communication. Watch and guard your words carefully. When you speak, ask God for wisdom to handle your spouse’s heart with Love and care. Season your words with Grace – even in intense moments. Remember your words can either edify or tear down. Seek Wisdom. “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him.” James‬ ‭1:5‬ ‭KJV‬ Seek wisdom early and often. Seek God before the situation and conversation escalates. Pray and ask God to direct your language when handing the heart of your spouse. God gives wisdom liberally to all that ask. God wants to give you wisdom in all matters, even on how to handle your spouse’s heart. Together God will and can guide your footsteps, if you ask. You’re not in your marriage alone. God is with you and He has your back in every season. Seek God early even in the case of sensitive matters. Allow God to Grace you with His Wisdom to guide your heart, mouth and actions even through the storms of life.

Love covereth a multitude of sins.

“And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.” 1 Peter‬ ‭4:8‬ ‭KJV‬‬

Love covers. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” John‬ ‭3:16‬ ‭KJV‬‬ Remember that God loves you and your spouse – unconditionally. God’s love is without end. Your capacity to love is based upon your experiences and expectations. When you have a relationship with God the Father and you’ve experienced His Agape Love, you’ll understand what it feels like to be Loved Unconditionally. In this Unconditional Love embrace with God, your Father, you can see that even in your sinful state that He Loved you and wanted to call you His Own and Save you from your Sin. He covered you even when you were yet in your sins. Jesus Christ is the only person that can rescue you and set you free from any bondage that you may face. Your husband or wife was not sent to rescue you or even to save you – they do not have the capacity to do so. Only Christ can completely wipe away your sins and forgive you completely. It is through Christ that we reflect His Love to our spouse. We are to Love our spouse like Christ – Selflessly. God will give you the capacity and capability to love your spouse by His Grace and your obedience. Cast down your past offenses and love your spouse through Christ.

Forgive the past.

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.” Ephesians‬ ‭4:32‬ ‭KJV‬‬

God will give you the capacity and capability to love your spouse even beyond the pain and the mishandling of the past. When you understand and know that Christ has completely forgiven you and has set you free from the power and grip of sin you’re able to reflect The Love of Christ through your freedom. When you are in Christ you are truly free indeed. If you are not free how can you help others become free? In Christ, there is no more entanglement. No need to hold others hostage to their past sins – including your spouse. Set your spouse free from the imprisonment of sin, setbacks, past failures and mistakes. Pray Together.

God is with you. Be Blessed.

October 13, 2017 0 comment

Articles Faith

Share With Your Spouse: 6 Ways to Effectively Communicate Within Your Marriage

by Vance K Jackson June 5, 2017

written by Vance K Jackson

6 Ways to Effectively Communicate Within Your Marriage

1. Season Your Words With Wisdom

“Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore get wisdom: and with all thy getting get understanding.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭4:7‬

Handling your spouse’s heart with Godly care and wisdom will always prove to be fruitful over wanting “to be right”. The Bible states that “Wisdom is the principal thing”, therefore, as you seek wisdom and God’s direction – throughout your marriage – you’re choosing to prioritize God’s Word and instruction over how you may “feel” in the moment. Abruptly speaking out of “your flesh” (your emotions), ultimately harms your spouse and plucks down the integrity of your marriage. When you seek out Wisdom before responding to your spouse, you’re deliberately choosing to engage God, thereby accessing Grace to handle the heart of your spouse and the heart of the matter God’s Way. When you choose to engage God to lead your heart and to guide your conversation before releasing a response you’ll get His Results. By engaging God with every aspect of your spouse, seasoning your words with wisdom and handling their heart with care, you’ll gain Godly insight and revelation as it relates to the matter and in understanding your spouse before recklessly responding in haste and out of your emotions.

2. Submit one to another

Be subject to one another out of reverence for Christ (the Messiah, the Anointed One).”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:21‬

Submit means to “subject yourself to” or “to serve”. When you choose to serve your spouse, out of the reverent fear of The Lord, you’ll be mindful to choose words that will both, edify and build them up, instead of tearing down their heart with your words. When speaking with your spouse, it is your choice to either, respond out of Love, (submitting to God) or yield to your flesh by responding out of your emotions. Responding with grace and seasoning your words with wisdom, patience, and love, in times of tension and pressure, builds character and establishes the maturity of your marriage – ultimately reflecting the Heart of God. Together, it’s important to ask yourselves, are you building each other up together or are you killing one another and even your marriage with your words.

3. Borders of Safety

“Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.”
‭‭James‬ ‭5:16‬ ‭

As you trust God with the handling of your heart and your marriage, God will consistently pour out and reveal Himself to you both as you both are led and guided by His Word. As you begin to confess your faults to your spouse, it establishes an environment of intimacy, maturity, and transparency where you both can learn and grow together, trusting each another with the most intimate parts of your life. As you both submit to God, you’re casting down pride within the walls of your marriage and opening your hearts to Him. It is in these intimate moments between you, God and your spouse where God is able to release healing and reveal more about Himself to you both. As you submit your heart and marriage to God, you build a relationship that will consistently build trust in the handling of your heart, life, and family. As any good Father, God leads and handles His children with care. The emotional and spiritual safety of your home is established, secured and developed in how you handle the hearts of your spouse.

4. Practice Exhorting

“But exhort one another daily, while it is called Today; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.”
‭‭Hebrews‬ ‭3:13

Exhortation is the environment that produces healthy, productive and fruitful communication. As you exhort, (the strategic imparting and deliberate building up of your spouse through and with the Word of God), you’re able to spring up life within your marriage and the borders of your home. Exhortation is saying what God says about your spouse. It is the outpouring from the Heart of God and speaking directly into the life of your spouse, reflecting The Heart of God within the borders of your marriage.

What are you speaking in the environment of your home? What are you saying about your spouse? What has God said about your spouse? What is God currently saying about your spouse? When you say what God is saying about your spouse your heart and mouth are intentionally being aligned to speak and release into the life of your spouse. If you’re not receiving revelation concerning your spouse and unable to pour out, there may be a blockage caused by a previous offense…a condition of heart hardening. To remove the blockage from a previous offense, simply forgive. Ask God to give you the strength to forgive the past and to move forward freely into His future.

5. Forgive Consistently

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭4:32‬ ‭

Forgiving your spouse will produce an environment of peace within your home. Maybe the tension or the emotional friction you’re experiencing within the borders of your home is produced by and from the seeds of past or current transgression(s) that you’re clinging on to. As you let go of the past and embrace God’s future, you’ll relinquish the pain and enslavement of the past and propel into His plans for you both. Embracing God and refusing to respond out of your flesh is a maturity process. Your flesh wants to hold on to the past when God wants you to let go and move forward, embracing His future. It’s your decision to either submit to His Word or stay enslaved to the pain of the past.

6. Peace Production

“He maketh peace in thy borders, and filleth thee with the finest of the wheat.”
‭‭Psalm‬ ‭147:14‬ ‭

God relinquishes peace to those who ask. God is peace. Engage God consistently within the borders of your home and He’ll continually fill your heart and home with His peace. Practice producing peace by filling your words with His Word. The Word that God releases is Life and has the power to build up the emotional and spiritual integrity of your home. Watch your words with diligence and with care. Watch your thoughts and fill your house with peace. His Peace.

Mediation Scripture: “For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.”
‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭5:31‬ ‭

June 5, 2017 0 comment

Faith Lifestyle

What I’ve Learned So Far in My Marriage That Can Change Yours

by Kelsie Fargo May 9, 2017

written by Kelsie Fargo

What I’ve Learned So Far In Marriage

Marriage is a refining fire to help us become more like Christ. In marriage, you learn humility, sacrifice, grace, mercy, unconditional love, and servitude – more so than in any other relationship or job. If you are seeking happiness, marriage is not your destination. How amazing is it that the relationship we have with our spouse is one of the greatest tools God uses to mold us.

Never blame your spouse for lack of fulfillment; blame yourself for not pursuing a fulfilling relationship with God. When we are fulfilled in Christ, we allow God’s primary purpose for marriage to come full circle – that of modeling Christ’s love for His church through the development of Christian character.

I love Emerson Eggerich’s take on marriage. Ephesians 5:33 gives us clear instructions for marriage. “Every husband must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” I am commanded to respect my husband because he needs respect. Respect is the language he understands. When I speak to him in disrespectful ways, his tendency is to react with unloving words. On the other side, he is commanded to love me because I need love. Love is the language I understand. When he speaks to me in unloving ways, my tendency is to react with disrespectful words. Arguments go in circles because what is said is the exact opposite of what is needed. He desperately desires respect from the one person that he cares for the most. Just like I desperately desire love from the man I care for the most. When we have a disagreement, we now ask where we went wrong before things escalate. He recognizes my feelings, asks where I felt unloved, and fixes it. I ask where he felt disrespected and I resolve it. This concept has completely changed our marriage.

Pray to love your spouse like Jesus does. Every day. I’m serious! Every single morning make this your prayer. Whenever the Bible speaks of love, it never measures it by how much you want to receive. It measures it by how much you’re willing to give yourself to someone else. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5 so beautifully states what love is. “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.” Notice how every line in this scripture involves giving of yourself while letting go of selfish human nature. What would happen if we intentionally lived out every one of these definitions in our marriage? Selflessness isn’t a marriage strategy, but rather a heart transformation in Christ. Pure love is a willingness to give without a thought of receiving anything in return.

May 9, 2017 0 comment