In my first published book “Beyond The Bolted Door” I wrote about how more times than not over the past few years, I have felt like I was showing up late to the party.
That basically means that when I have finally figured something out, or found the right formula to ‘get it right’, or have had that split second AHA moment – I find that YES indeed I showed up, but to a party long over. And SO far over, that there is not even a speck of glitter to be found on the floor. THAT is when you know over is really over, when there is no glitter.
DELAYS AND DETOURS
First of all, I have already learned that we can face delays and encounter detours on this journey of life, but somehow STILL get to where we are supposed to be, ON TIME. It is a constant process of learning curves. We must continuously adjust our mindsets and reevaluate our footsteps. Really, life just works this way. I get that I have shown up late in my own life for many things but God can still get me to where He wants me to go, right on time – with not a second to spare. I get it.
Beyond that though, I have STILL kept a running list of my regrets, failures, and consequences – I feel responsible for all of it. I seemed to be constantly rehearsing it and trying to fix ‘all the things’. So over and over and over I would cry; I would worry; I would have anxiety; I would feel worthless; I would lose sleep; and then finally just feel useless and hopeless – because I WANT to fix it ALL. I totally get overwhelmed with all of that because I can NOT fix it – it is impossible.
Today I heard God softly say, “No, not fix. Heal.” And I knew what He meant. I instantly “understood the assignment”, as the saying goes.
THE GOD WHO HEALS
God miraculously is the one who redeems lost time. He is the one who mends a broken heart. He is the one who sets a captive free. I can NOT fix what is unfixable. But He is not even asking me to. He just wants ME to heal. If I heal, then THAT is the gift I can leave behind.
Heal. Just heal. Whatever that looks like for you, maybe you already know. Maybe you have been questioning the process, or wondering what it even looks like. Healing comes with surrender, admission, truth, forgiveness, acceptance, and a whole laundry list of painful things that hurt before they make us better. BUT when you have healed, then you can change the future. We must find healing. We don’t need to be fixed, or TO fix – we just need to heal.
Do you get it? Do you see it like I do? Stop trying to fix everything. You can’t. Just let HIM heal YOU. THAT is how we get to show up to a party with no glitter, and understand that our part is just to host the NEXT party.
“By HIS wounds, YOU have been healed.” (l Peter 2:24) Find the peace of closure that is in these words. He already took your place. May your legacy be that you healed.
THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED
My new book just released on Amazon titled “The Road Beyond The Bolted Door” is my journey of healing AFTER demolishing the rigid lock on my heart’s door. The silence of shame has been broken – and the good, the bad, the ugly AND the glorious ALL came with the brokenness. It truly has been my own road less traveled. It is a solo journey we each must take, with the goal being to go all the way to the finish line!
No one wants you to know their shame; no one wants to show their scars – but in doing so, we find the purpose of both – and then we get to walk others to their freedom.
My hope in this new book is to give you a simple survival guide about what lies ahead on your OWN road less traveled, so you will be prepared for the detours, pitfalls, obstacles, adversaries, enemies, and your own humanity. Walk it out – I am cheering you on to your finish line!
(You can find “Beyond The Bolted Door” and “The Road Beyond The Bolted Door” on Amazon and other online retailors. Proceeds from sales go to the gifting of books to those who need it most.)
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