teaching about racism Archives

The other day we took our kids to a peaceful protest for racial equality. See, I have never been someone that considers myself an activist or political, or someone that would go on a march or protest. I have always admired people that were so passionate about something they would shout it from the rooftops, but it’s never been me. I have gone on mission trips to share my faith, and have posted about my faith on social media, but even then I am no street evangelist. And politics have never been my thing.

Stand Up For Change

However, recent events are changing me. Because I want to raise kind, compassionate, just, Christ-like kids, who fight for those who are oppressed. In order to do so, I am realizing I need to talk about the worlds’ injustices. We decided to take them to a peaceful protest so that they could see firsthand what people do when they want something to change. And we wanted them to see that racial injustice needs to change, and they have a voice to do so. I believe that this is a turning point for humanity and that their generation can grow up in a more just world. But I also wanted them so to see that change takes a lot of hard work and dedication.

Light Version Vs. Telling It How It Is

As we were getting ready to leave we told them when people are protesting they hold signs that say how they feel. So, I made a sign for each of them to hold that had a positive message. One said “Love Your Neighbor”, another said, “Spread Love”, and another said, “Kindness Starts With Me”. I thought I did a pretty good job of making “kid-friendly” messages that were positive but had an underlying message about how God wants us to love those of all races. Turns out my signs were a little too “light”.

My 7-year-old saw my protest signs and said, “Mom, why don’t any of our signs say ‘racism’?” Wow. I was blown away. Here I was trying to censor the message so the kids wouldn’t be overexposed or ask too many questions I wouldn’t be able to answer. But the truth is, they hear what’s going on in the world. And they see what is going on in the world. My 5-year-old blew us away even further when he said he wanted his sign to say, “Why did they kill George Floyd?” Such an overcomplicated situation simplified to one little question by a 5-year-old. A little question we would all like the answer to.

“My command is this: Love one another as I have loved you.” (John 15:12)

Be Straightforward, No Light Version

My kids don’t watch the news and I hardly watch the news with them around. They don’t have tablets or iPads where they can stumble upon something they weren’t intended to see. But they hear us talking, and they watch our reactions. When we get angry about something, they see they should be angry too. When we are excited and happy about something they gauge that it is good to be excited and happy about that too. We have been talking to our kids about racism and racial inequality and we have been using those terms. And my son knew that if we are angry about racism and we want to make a point about it to others we need to come out and say it, instead of walking on eggshells and tiptoeing around the issue.

Be Bold

I think the same can be said about our faith. If we want our kids to know that Jesus is the son of God, whom God sent to die for our sins and rise again, so that we can believe in Him and spend eternity in Heaven with Him, then we need to talk about that. We need to constantly expose them to Jesus. They need to see we are passionate about Him and that we get excited about Him. And they need to see that we love Him and He loves us and that believing in Him and standing up for Him is the most important thing in our lives. Our kids are not going to be passionate about Jesus if we give them the “Christian light” version and tiptoe around that topic either. We need to be bold in our faith and come out and say it.

“Jesus loves the little children

All the children of the world

Red, brown, yellow

Black and white

They are precious in His sight.

Jesus loves the little children

Of the world.”

(Source)

Fighting For Race Equality

George Floyd‘s horrific death has thrown the US and the world into a tailspin. Personally, as a white woman who lives in a not-so-diverse suburban town in New Jersey, I have never experienced discrimination due to my race. I know I will never understand that level of prejudice, but I am taking a stand to listen and learn from my black brothers and sisters, on what I can do to support them and walk alongside them, making the world a more loving and accepting place for all races.

As a white mom, I am searching my heart and my mind on what I can do to make a difference in fighting against inequality and racism starting with my home and my little family. Most importantly, I am brainstorming ideas on how I can teach my children to love one another. I want them to know and understand on a deep level that no matter how different someone is from you, and certainly no matter what the color someone’s skin is, we are called to love them and treat them as we want to be treated. “So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you…” (Matthew 7:12)

John 15:12 says, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”

If you are living in similar circumstances to mine, you might have some of the same questions. Here are some resources I have found about talking to your young children about race and racism (Source):

Race: 7 Tips for White Parents Raising Diversity-Aware Kids:

1. Acknowledge differences.

Hate is a learned behavior. It is so much easier to teach your children to love than it is to hate. Your children will learn to dislike or hate someone of a different race (or that has any differences than they do) because they are shown how to do so, whether intentionally or unintentionally. When we don’t acknowledge racial differences, we are actually setting our children up to make their own decisions and opinions about people of different races. And usually, when children decide something is different, they shy away from it and decide they don’t like it. That is why it is so important to acknowledge racial differences at a very young age, and explain that people come in all different colors, shapes, and sizes.

“Making too big a deal of the question and over-examining differences can signal that there’s something wrong with diversity. ‘The message you want to send is that, though people may look different on the outside, they’re all the same inside,’ Dr. Poussaint says.” (Source)

2. Be a positive role model.

Our children learn from our modeled behavior. We need to check our own biases and display proactive behaviors against inequality. When your friend tells a culturally insensitive joke, do you say something? Or do you laugh, showing your kids you are in agreement? If we show our kids how to take a stand against racism and not tolerate it, they will learn to follow suit.

3. Talk about bigotry.

Our children are exposed to stereotypes at a very young age. Even their cartoons express villains with “different” names and looks and princesses with white skin and blue eyes. We can point out those stereotypes and explain that that is actually not the norm. Not all princesses and “beautiful” people look the same. We can find beauty in other peoples’ differences. In fact, being different is what makes people beautiful.

4. Encourage empathy.

Giving my kids empathy and showing them how to give it to others is one of my favorite parenting lessons. If we can teach our kids how to put themselves in someone else’s shoes, and to feel what they are feeling we are able to raise compassionate kids that love others well, no matter what they look like. If you ask a child how they would feel if someone was mean to them just because of their skin color, I think you can really plant an empathic seed.

5. Expose your child to diversity.

This is something I need to work harder to do. I didn’t realize it until recently, but my children (who LOVE to read) do not have a very diverse library. Most of the books they read have white characters or just plain talking animals. I am making a conscious effort to diversify our library by ordering not only diverse books but also children’s books that directly address racism at an appropriate level.

I will also make an effort to buy more diverse toys. I’ll admit that my boys have never been very interested in baby dolls, but I know there are diverse dolls with different skin colors that would help familiarize kids with different races. I am also going to look into superheroes and action figures with different skin tones.

Here are examples of racially diverse books for kids:

Teach Your Dragon About Diversity

When God Made You

Whoever You Are

The Big Umbrella

And this Instagram account has been extremely helpful with tips about talking to kids about race: @theconsciouskid

6. Foster a strong sense of identity.

If you teach your kid to be confident in themselves and love themselves then they will easily love others. When a kid lacks confidence and has low-self-esteem, the door opens for criticizing and belittling others. As Christian parents, it is so important to encourage our children to know their identity in Christ. We need to let them know they are “fearfully and wonderfully made,” (see Psalm 139) and that their life has a great purpose.

Teach your kids to love the things that make them different (like my kids’ red hair!) so that they can look at others and love the different things about them as well.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

7. Don’t tolerate prejudice of any kind.

The bottom line is respect. We are all created equally in God’s image and every living being deserves respect.

“To raise a tolerant child, you need to help your child learn to value everyone as a human being,’ Dr. Langman says. “(Source) It is up to us to address racist jokes, comments, and stereotypes when we see them, hear them, or come across them in any way. And right now, your kids are watching your reaction to present-day racism and Geroge Floyd’s death. Are you angry for your brother in Christ, who was targeted and murdered? Talk to them and show them that this matters to God, to you, to your family, and our world. Then lead by example and show them how to make a difference.

teaching about racism

Our Children Don’t Need The Light Version Of Faith