I always write first to myself. Then I decide if I want to share it. I don’t share it hoping for a vast audience – generally I feel like it is just maybe for one other person. It is the concept of having a cookie and breaking it in half – one half for me and one half for thee.
So today what I want to share how my anxiety has subsided. Whew. It was like a heavy weighted blanket someone threw over my soul. Personally, I am claustrophobic anyways, so the extra weight never works well for me on any level.
I was wondering why I am feeling better. Because Jesus.
THE GOOD SHEPHERD
That’s it. I did what He required of me and He has taken up the slack. He has restored my soul. If there were 100 sheep I was the 1 He had to rescue. I was the one snarled in the bushes way on the other side of the mountain. He, being the Good Shepherd left the sheep that were doing great, grazing and sunning themselves, without a care in the world – and He came to find me. I got gotten used to those branches wrapped around me, until He gently lifted them off of me.
“What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.” (Matthew 18:12-14)
TIME TO GRAZE
When He put me back in the pasture with the sun brightly shining on me, it was almost too much. Enter anxiety. In essence, the sun hurt my eyes. BUT every day I have felt my strength returning.
Those other sheep? They have been my support group. They have just let me be. They move over and let me graze with them. And the Good Shepherd is my hero. He rescued me from a place I didn’t know I needed rescued from.
I am safe now. I am becoming whole. I am no longer broken. I am not carrying a heavy weight anymore that was actually NOT mine TO carry.
“I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth His life for the sheep.” (John 10:11) Maybe you need to know that if YOU are the one, Jesus will leave the 99 for you. And, it’s not scary. It is a rescue mission filled with hope, love, joy, and utter relief.
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