I Just Got Unfriended
I just got unfriended. “So what!” you may say… ‘Don’t take it personally, it’s not the real world, it’s only Facebook, get a grip!’ I know, I know, but it still hurts…
I’ve been at the same company with this person for 15 years and although we haven’t been close, I’ve always thought we had a good working relationship. And, as far as I know there’s no reason for this apparent “social snub”.
Fake News & Fake Friends
There, I just coined a phrase “social snub” – perhaps it may even end up in the dictionary because I kind of think I’m not the only one in this modern world of “fake news” and “fake friends” that has been rebuffed in this way.
Perhaps a more accurate word would be “fnubbed“ (Facebook-snubbed). Whatever way you say it, though, it all equates to the same thing = rejection. I feel rebuffed because someone who I thought I had a friendship with has shut me out.
Has this happened to you? I would love to know how you handled the situation. Please share your experience in the comments section below so others can benefit.
The Christian Response vs Pop Psychology
As a Christian, I can take comfort from the example of Jesus who had to face betrayal, and rejection even from His own disciples. The Bible says ‘He was despised of all men’. So in comparison, a “fnub“ is seriously insignificant.
Pop psychology tells us to “just let go”… that most probably they never really were my friend anyway, so nothing lost.
When you got unfriended, did you ask yourself questions, like ‘Why did this happen?’ Did you start doubting if you were good enough? Or did you react in anger? ‘How dare he/she!’ may have been your initial response or perhaps your head was filled with thoughts of how to get your own back. Did you want to tell the person to get lost in no uncertain terms?
I’m sure many of us would like to know!
“It is what it is” is something we often hear these days. But what does that help our wounded egos? Is dealing with “an unfriending” a pride thing that we need to pray about, humble ourselves and ask God to reveal the reason for our hurt and trust Him to bring healing into the situation?
Different Levels of Friendship
I guess how one reacts to “fnubbing“ depends on how well you knew the person in real life. Those FB “friends” who are just acquaintances are no real loss, but those who you know, and value, it’s still a personal affront when friendships end, whether online or off.
Spare a thought for those young people who only feel they are truly going out when it’s “Facebookficial.” And how wounded they must feed when their relationship status is returned to single. Ok, there was no romantic involvement in my recent unfriending, no love lost really, but still, I am supposed to turn the other cheek. Easier said than done because it has bothered me somewhat, well enough anyway to write a blog post about it!!!
Real Life vs Social Media
In the back of my head I think, ok, I mustn’t let this bother me. I don’t know the exact reason. Perhaps she just had a bit of a social spring clean. Perhaps she felt overwhelmed having too many friends and just wanted to limit her social interaction to a few close family members.
Maybe, if I bump into her in real life, things will be fine, courteous, even congenial. I can’t see her being blatantly rude. Obviously, there really is a huge difference between real life and real friendship and the way we interface, deface, or become faceless on facebook.
The more I think about it Facebook is Fakebook. The friends aren’t real and the way everyone presents their perfect lives isn’t real. I think I must put my efforts into making and keeping real friends. What do you say?
And yet, FB does help me keep in contact with my family and it’s great to see cute photos of my grandchildren who live far away. Yes, it helps me feel connected in some ways, and yet in others, it’s one big disconnect.
What do you think? Has this happened to you? What did you do?