As a parent, how would you react if your child tells you that he / she doesn’t feel loved by you? I think this is possibly the most painful statement you could hear from your child especially when they are still little.
Christian celebrity parents, Hayden Kho and Victoria Belo, who are doctors and television personalities in the Philippines reacted wisely to their 4-year-old daughter Scarlet when she had an emotional outburst. We can learn a lot from their approach.
The family of three was at a fast food chain restaurant when it all happened. While waiting for their food to be served the two parents were both on their phones. They ususally don’t use their phone when they are together, but they weren’t at home.
Victoria saw that her daughter was frowning. She noticed the sudden change of mood of Scarlet and ask her what was wrong.
“I’m sad.” Scarlet didn’t speak for a while.
Hayden overheard their conversation and asked her, “Scarlet, are you sad? Why are you sad?” Their daughter’s answer broke the couple’s hearts.
“Because I don’t feel you love me.”
Hayden immediately put down his phone and Victoria asked Scarlet, “Why?”
“Because you’re always busy. Even if we’re together, you’re always busy,” Scarlet answered.
Hayden felt horrible and apologized to his young daughter.
“You know what, Scarlet? If I was in your position and everyone wis super busy, I would also feel bad. So, I’m sorry Scarlet if I’m always busy. Will you forgive me?” he earnestly asked.
To make Scarlet feel better, Hayden assured her that from that moment on, they wouldn’t be busy or on their phones while with her.
“So, what you feel in your heart is okay. It’s okay to feel sad. But from now on, we’ll make sure that we’re not as busy,” he added.
When Scarlet calmed down and started to smile again, Hayden took the opportunity to teach an important lesson.
“But you know what Scarlet, sometimes I also feel bad. Because sometimes I feel you are also very busy. Because when you are on your iPad you don’t talk to us anymore. So, sometimes, I don’t feel loved,” he said to her.
Lessons learned
Hayden and Victoria feel proud that their daughter taught them the importance of time and family. That no matter how busy you are, you should always give priority to the people you love.
This also taught them that it’s important to acknowledge a child’s feeling. A child’s emotions need to be noticed and understood to have a healthy connection with them, and for them to feel safe and validated. Just like our Heavenly Father: He understands our emotions and feels how we feel. He knows every little detail of our pain and understands how to heal our hurts. That is how we should all be as parents.
Reference: PEP
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