From Fearful to Fearless
God has always been part of my life. When I was little my grandma was constantly reading the Bible, and when her eyes began to give out; I was the one reading for her.
The first book I started reading was the Bible, so I had knowledge of God and His Son. We went to church maybe three times a year, but it was fine because God was always in our thoughts through my grandma’s words, who reminded us of Him with every occasion she had. I wanted to be fearless like her. But this God I “knew” was somewhere far away, not within my reach: An untouchable deity whom I could hardly please and whom I was always afraid of.
I remember that at the back of my Bible, I had some verses that I knew by heart; one of them being from Revelation: ”Fear God and give glory to Him, for the hour of His judgement has come; and worship Him who made Heaven and Earth, the sea and springs of waters.” (Revelation 14:7)
So, as a child, I grew up feeling fearful and guilty most of the time, and I got to a stage when things didn’t make too much sense. I longed to be understood by God and to understand Him.
One day, I started to browse the religious channels on TV. I didn’t like what I saw or heard until I got to this guy who was talking differently. He was giving a fresh interpretation to something from the Bible. I was hooked. His name was Robert Morris, and the channel was ”GOD TV.”
The second day I tried to find him again, but couldn’t because he was only a guest to the show (however he now has his own series), but something else caught my interest: ”Enjoying Everyday Life!” Now for me, who struggled with anxiety and depression most of my life, to be able to enjoy every single day of my life was like a promise from a fantasyland. And out of curiosity, I started to watch the series with Joyce Meyer, and my journey with GOD TV began.
I learned how to pray, how to talk to God, to Jesus, how to rely on them, and what grace is all about.
In few weeks most of my anxious thoughts had disappeared. I’ve started to pray for the people who’ve been hurting me, and peace invaded my mind. I spent hours in front of TV on my days off, trying to get as much as possible from most of the programs.
I learned how to pray, how to talk to God, to Jesus, how to rely on them, and what grace is all about. My faith was built up and now I am doing the things I was always afraid of! I have become fearless! It’s not always easy, but when I feel disoriented, I start to pray and pray and pray. God always helps me!