I am one of those people who doesn’t have a dad present in their life. Up until last year, I didn’t think it really bothered me. Then I realized that, apparently, I masking the true feelings I had deep down inside of me. Not having a dad wasn’t something I normally stopped to think about it until things start to get thrown at me. I realized part of my reason for always hugging people isn’t just for those people, but rather for me as well to fill the void of not having a dad present.
I didn’t realize until last year, that I really was missing an important piece in my life and it had truly affected me. I now know that I actually needed that love, affection and encouragement from a dad and that maybe that is the source of my low self-esteem and self-worth. I never had anyone to affirm that for me. I am just thankful that I started going to church on my own at a young young age and I knew morally, as well, that “searching for love in all the wrong places” wasn’t what was best for me. I had vowed at a young age that I would never stoop that low.
God has seen me through each step of the way in my life. Without my Heavenly Father, I don’t know what I would have done or what could have happened since I didn’t have the re-presence of an earthly father. Sure, I may still struggle from time to time with wishing I had an actual dad present in my life (even a dad figure that I could hang out with), but that doesn’t mean God isn’t there or He isn’t faithful. I know He is. It doesn’t mean God hasn’t been right there beside me each step of the way, even in the midst of my sorrows, troubles and trials.
Because of my upbringing, this video of Kris Vallotton (Bethel Church) below, really resonated with me.