Do you have that secret place where you meet with God? A place where you can come fully as you are and escape into His presence? Maybe you are like me, you had this place, but you ran away from it and now feel too ashamed to go back, afraid that the Lord may possibly be angry or won’t accept you for who you have become.
Meet with God
With tears streaming down my face, I could hardly breathe, let alone see anything in front of me. Although truthfully, I didn’t want to see; my heart was filled with sorrow and my body was weak with pain I had been carrying for too long. His gaze holding me steady and I couldn’t find the courage to speak.
I was fearful of what He would say.
I wanted to look up and meet His eyes, but I didn’t want to see His pity. After moments had passed, He gently took my face in His hands and pulled me closer. When I looked up, I wasn’t met with pity, nor sorrow; I was met with love. His eyes, they were the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, full of fire and burning with love.
Confused by what I saw, my mind was racing with words to speak.
I mean, wasn’t He angry with me?
Didn’t He meet me in this place so that He could condemn me with shame?
I know I broke His heart. How could He ever look at me again after what I did?
We used to be friends who spent every moment together. After I ran away, I figured He would never speak to me again. But, here we are, face to face after years of me running, and He doesn’t seem angry. He doesn’t give off the impression that He hates me.
I wonder what He thinks of me?
As my thoughts spun, He pulled me closer.
“I’ve been waiting for you,” he said.
My mouth opened to reply before my mind realized what was happening.
“B..bbb.but Jesus.. I left you. I made a mistake and I was too ashamed to come back to this place. How long have you been waiting?”
He smiled softly, and stood up.
“Come with me,” He said, reaching out, “I want to show you something.”
I grabbed His hand and, before I could even blink, we were under a Willow Tree. It wasn’t just any tree; it was the tree we always came to. The place was instantly familiar, because He had met me here day after day, for most of my life. That was, until I disappeared.
I looked up and observed the branches. They hung low, but were still tall enough that we could stand under them. It was my favorite place, one where I felt complete safety. Not only being enclosed in the tree, but wrapped up in Jesus’ arms. We always made the best memories here and it held so many hidden thoughts and secret jokes between Him and I.
I slowly walked around the tree before taking a seat on the only spot where the grass was still green. Following close behind, He sat beside me and grabbed my hand.
Under the willow tree
As I opened my mouth to speak, I heard His gentle whisper.
“I never stopped.”
I looked up at Him.
“What do you mean, Lord?”
He smiled and replied, a bit louder.
“I never stopped loving you. Every day for the past 3 years, I have come here. I never gave up on you and I never will. This is our place. I will always meet you here.”
As the tears rolled down my cheeks, He gently wiped them away. I looked up at Him.
“Jesus, I was so afraid to come see you. I thought that you may have forgotten about me or that you would be too angry to even look at me.”
He looked into my eyes with such tenderness.
“My child, you could spend your entire life running away from me, but I would never be angry. I would never refuse to see you. I will always love you and I will continue to come to this place to wait for you. You will always be worth it to me.”
He pulled me closer into His arms and we sat in silence. Our silence was communicating everything I had wanted to say. My soul was restored in mom. Finally, I found the peace my soul desired.
Are you ready?
I encourage you to make your way back to the place where you meet with God, even if your absence has left you broken, even if you are afraid of what He may think. I know, for a fact, that Jesus hasn’t given up on you; He wants to see you. If it has been years, months, or even only a few days since you last saw God, He chooses you every single day. All you have to do is choose Him back. Go meet with God in your secret place; He is there, waiting for you.
Read also: The Battle For Love
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