Many people would argue that sex before marriage is okay, but Rob Kowalski offers 10 reasons why waiting is better!
10. Sex before marriage masks problems
The issue here is not just about sex. Often times sex can hide problems in a relationship. It is like sweeping the floor and hiding the dirt underneath the rug. Physical chemistry may be great but it won’t make up for other problems in the relationship. Eventually the problems will come to the forefront.
9. Marriage enables you to evaluate your real feelings
Marriage is a major commitment. If you ask your partner to wait until marriage and they won’t, that shows you the true level of commitment they’re prepared to make. Better to know before it’s too late!
8. Sex connects us
Sex is a gift from God to married couples. It is an act of deep connection of body, mind, and soul between two people. It’s not meant to be casual and the emotional and spiritual consequences of being connected to someone outside of a committed, holy relationship can be painful.
God created sex not only for a husband and wife to enjoy and have intimacy, but also for procreation. Babies come from sex. Our bodies can create life. It’s part of His intricate design. It’s surprising that people who have had sex are so shocked when their partner gets pregnant. If you’re not ready to have a family or take family planning seriously, sex is risky.
6. Everybody else is doing it
Do the right thing, even if everyone’s not doing it. Be classy, and know your worth! You’re not weak enough to conform to what society is telling you; you’re strong enough to defy it. And actually, everyone is NOT doing it. Seek out like-minded people who will support and encourage you.
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.” (Romans 12:2)
5. What we gain too easily, we esteem too lightly
When something is of great value, they are worth waiting for. You and your future spouse are worthy of this sacrifice.
4. Transfer of control
It heartbreaking to see women chasing men and men chasing women for the sole reason of meeting physical needs. We barter sex for control, for emotional security, for love. Outside of marriage, sex can be used as a weapon of control and manipulation.
3. Talk is not cheap
Get to know the person well before you decide to connect with them on a deeper level through sex. Talking is not cheap, it’s classic.
2. Physical attraction fades
Our emotions and feelings change from time to time, and physical attraction fades. At some point you enjoyed being with a person but for how long? If the physical part of your relationship is the main motivator, is it truly love? Be careful of the portions of yourself that you give another person.
1. Better to have lifelong friends than to have short-term sex partners
We’ve heard stories about ‘friends with benefits’ and how these relationships end agonizingly. Some people choose to share intimate moments with their best friends because they’re comfortable with each other. But when the physical attraction fades, the friendship is over too. It’s sad but it happens. It is better to observe physical boundaries so that you can enjoy the beauty of true and lifelong friendships. Don’t compromise your long-standing friendship because of a temporary physical attraction.
Sex is a gift
Sex is from God, but it is not for everyone. It is not for singles. It is a beautiful gift for married couples. It doesn’t mean that God is depriving singles of this gift, but God is saving people from the pain they’ll experience after giving themselves to the wrong person.
I am aware that some people view this as an old and conservative tradition, but God’s Word never changes. We tend to think of them as “commands” rather than instructions from a good, wise, loving Father. He only wants to protect us from harm. Sin separates us from His presence and puts us on a path of destruction.
There are many good reasons to wait, as Rob Kowalski has shown, but it’s your choice that matters. As for me, I’ve never heard people who’ve waited ‘till marriage to have sex regret their decision. As a matter of fact, I’ve witnessed people who were broken by giving themselves to a person they’re not married to. Trust the heart of our loving Father that He will give you the best things at the perfect time.
This post was compiled by Le-Jovale Vallejo.